Life changes: children grow, people move on, circumstances shift– but God’s Beloved Son who came at Christmas remains unchanging. May the light of Christ shine in your heart and in your home this Christmas Day, and in the coming year.
Hallelujah, we’ve been found
Barlow Girl
A child is born to save us now
Hallelujah, light has come
A Savior who will set us free
A promise for those who believe.
Decades ago I held my first child, a son, in the Winter months– born right at the beginning of the holiday season– and the Christmas Story came to life for me. That year I could enter into Mary’s experience as a young mother: her wonder, her fears, the myriad changes in her own flesh, and all these experiences new and strange, as if the whole world had suddenly been born new with her labor pains. And in the utterly down-to-earth flesh and blood of pregnancy and delivery and the physical needs of a newborn, the Incarnation of the Son of God was no longer a theological concept, but an Everyday reality. That the Almighty One of Heaven who spoke the worlds into being would enfold Himself into the waxy translucent skin of a newborn…just a small warm fragile body held snugly in a mother’s arms…was wonder beyond wonder.
And in the years that followed, my whole world shifted, tilted, redefined itself in unexpected ways, as I struggled to live out my faith as a stay-at-home wife and mother, discovering that the small messy places of life where we bend to serve others can become something sacred– an offering of worship to God– because the Eternal One stooped into Time and Space to submit to an ordinary woman’s care. One of Jesus’ friends would explain it this way, later: “This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him.” (1 John 4:9)
Mary must have known well how much she would lose, in listening to that angel. Any woman can imagine what it meant to give up dreams of a wedding day, the approval of her friends and neighbors, the comfort of her family circle. But in bending to God’s will, Mary mirrored His own humility and love, and found unexpected treasures of the heart that beckon to all the women that have come since. Her song still rises: “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name.” (Luke 1:46-49) God bent down to us at Christmas, to show us what True Love looks like, and when we bend down to serve others, we become His image-bearers, reflections of His heart.
This Winter I watch other young girls, and I look at the fresh young faces and wonder what roads lie ahead, see how hard it will be to listen to the right voices in this world– too many clamoring opinions about beauty and worth and meaning as a woman, and what makes a good life. I wish I could tell them, and all the young wives and mothers, that the best thing they can do with their lives is to live like Mary, to learn to say “yes” to God…to allow Him to shape them around His Son in the small things of Everyday Life.
There are so many goals and dreams to chase out there, but it is in Christ that we learn who we are, discover our true worth. It is in following Him one step at a time that we find our purpose. It will be ordinary and humbling, often invisible to others…and quite probably difficult. And we will become beautiful and extraordinary women, if we can listen and learn from Him. A sister-writer said it well: “A woman’s most sacred responsibility is to be so comfortable not just only in her own skin, but in being in Christ, in being shaped and formed like Christ, like the Cross…that she becomes more interested in the ways of Christ than in what others think of her — or what she thinks she wants.” (Ann VosKamp) It is a high calling, a privilege indeed, to be a woman made and defined by God.
This is Christmas that can last all year round: to wrap our arms and our hearts around each other and bear one another’s burdens, to become Love in flesh, for all the world to see, as our Savior did, once upon a time in Bethlehem.
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The most revolutionary thing a woman can do is not let anything but the Cross explain her life.
Ann VosKamp
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This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.
I John 4:10, The Message
Sometimes we hear God’s voice in unexpected places. Just ask Moses. A blazing bush all afire with glory and a mission impossible coming straight from heaven’s throne…not your ordinary day with the sheep. My life seems so much less amazing, more slow-moving, filled with detours and distractions, and waiting for changes that seem long in coming. Some days I wish I could hear God that vividly and life-changingly.
But it occurs to me in this Advent season of waiting that it’s all a matter of perspective, because Moses spent forty years leading sheep around, day in and day out in that wilderness, occupied with the mind-numbingly everyday existence of water and grass, wool and lambs, getting married and raising a son. Decades of slow-moving days with only the ordinary sounds of life, that felt like waiting. But when he wrote it down later he was careful to note that “God saw the people of Israel– and God knew.” (Exodus 2:25)
In all those ordinary slow-moving days, God was there and God was at work to bring about His plans, listening to the cries of His people for deliverance. And when the time was right he spoke to the man He had prepared for the task and bullied him into doing it. Really. A man just as full of insecurities and fears as I am, who needed some pushing to get him going.
When Moses saw the bush on that one not-so-ordinary day he knew it was worth turning aside from his work to see, important enough to stop and listen. An impressive sight, certainly, but in the solitude of the open spaces under the stars and the changing seasons he had already seen the glory of God in a million everyday ways, listened to the wind and the thunder and the still small voice of God’s presence…and I wonder if he felt like he was waiting for deliverance too, if he recognized the bush for what it was: a fiery milestone of change in his life.
As I listen for God’s voice amid the everyday sounds of an ordinary life, let me remember that He is here and He knows. He is working out His plans, listening to the cries of His people, has a part for me to play if I will pay attention and not get distracted by the pull of media, and my desires, and chores needing done, and the answers I am waiting for. I can rest in knowing Him, and trust what He is doing. Because here in the everyday I am tuning my heart to His, bending to obey, and persevering to fill the purpose He has for me.
And if I can learn to hear God’s voice in the ordinary days, then when the Extraordinary blazes down from heaven, I will recognize it and be ready to follow any new path. Really, which is the larger miracle, that a bush can burn with glory in the desert?… or that God Himself speaks to me in the everyday, in the quiet spaces of my heart? Emmanuel, God with us…I am listening.
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It is amazing what the quiet holding of the soul before the Lord will do to the external and seemingly uncontrollable tumult around us. It is in that stillness that the Voice will be heard, the only voice in all the universe that speaks peace to the deepest part of us.
Elizabeth Elliot
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The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
Lamentations 3:25
There’s nothing that lights up brokenness like the twinkling lights of Christmas. ‘Tis the season to be jolly…with Pinterest-decked-out halls, and the family in matching pajamas on the front of your cards, and your shopping definitely finished by the third week of December. But let’s be honest, some years you just don’t have it in you to watch all the Christmas movies and bubble gaily at parties. It feels a little like maybe you’d be better off on the Island of Misfit Toys, with your chipped paint and limping spirit. And all the traditions and high expectations of the season only serve to underline how you are dragging on behind….might push you to add another present to the pile and turn up the carols, so no one suspects. Doesn’t it make you wonder where we ever got the idea that we need to achieve a certain level of glitter and gaiety before Christmas can come?
But the Prophet Isaiah is lighting up the centuries with his clarion call straight from the mouth of God: “‘Comfort, comfort my people,’ says your God. ‘Speak tenderly to Jerusalem. Tell her that her sad days are gone and her sins are pardoned.'” (Isaiah 40:1) If ever there were a holiday for the hollow and the worn-weary, it is Christmas: “For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” (Isaiah 41:13) The good news comes ready-or-not to the sheep-herders and the inn-keepers, that the glory of God is coming down from heaven to shine in the back alleys and the open fields of everyday life. This is the gift of Christmas, that Christ has come to be with us in whatever we are facing, to bring healing and hope. “When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then I, the Lord, will answer them. I…will never abandon them.” (Isaiah 41:17)
Christmas is most of all for the broken and needy, and the Light of the world shines in all His brilliance on everyone who waits patiently for His help. Isaiah records the precious promises of His salvation: “…how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?…The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” (Isaiah 40:27-29) We are held, and we are loved, and we don’t need sparkle and shine to cover us up, because the Almighty covers us. Even the Musician-King David is singing of the Messiah’s coming. “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” (Psalm 91:4)
The Gospel writers highlight the prophets’ words over and over, just to prove that God’s promises have all come true in Jesus. Matthew says it as plainly as he knows how: “All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: ‘Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1:22-23) The events of Christmas were always part of God’s plan, a Light shining down through history from the beginning of time, for those who know their need. John bursts into praise at the truth of what he had seen with his own eyes: “The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” (John 1:4)
This is the miracle of Christmas night, that all God’s promises come true at once, with a woman’s laboring cry and an army of angels singing: “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” (Luke 2:14) To the warring and the broken, the blind and deaf, the bent and the bruised, it is the best news of all. Christ has come, and He will make us whole! The prophet Malachi adds his own joyful note to the ancient songs: “But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings.” (Malachi 4:2)
In this most wonderful time of the year, may our longing for goodness to prevail, for beauty, for peace… drive us only to the Light of the World who is given for us.
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More than presents, I long for Your presence to be apparent in all the minutes You give me. I long for Your face to shine upon me. May I define abundance as a manger, strips of cloth, and a place to lay my weary head.
shelly Miller
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For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Zephaniah 3:17
We are starting to recognize the heart issues that keep us from finding rest. And it doesn’t look at all the way we thought it would. Because as much as we want to point to the outside circumstances like work and responsibility and the needs of others, the Holy Spirit keeps pulling off the half-truths we wear…keeps gently revealing the fragility inside.
It’s satisfying to think that we are busy because we are capable, self-sacrificing women. (And we really are, in many ways.) But rather humiliating to admit that I am also busy for fear of disappointing others. Sometimes busy with the endless needs, no matter how stressful, to avoid the hurricane roar of God’s love. Pursuing performance to cover up the shame for all the ways I feel not-enough. Swallowed up in the mind-numbingly trivial so I don’t have to feel the loneliness and disappointment and boredom of this world.
Busyness can be like an armor we wear to hide our weaknesses, protect our hearts. Busyness can be a banner to proclaim our worth, to give us a reason to get up in the morning. And women can end up owning this crazy busyness like a super-power, all the while it threatens to suck the life right out of us.
Yeah, there’s any number of reasons busyness is more appealing than rest, and none of them healthy. No wonder God calls us to His rest gently and persistently, like a parent who knows what is best for a child. It’s kind of a relief to admit to one another that our reasons for doing things are often flawed. It helps to realize that we as human beings are so much the same in this, get to the point where we can shake our heads and laugh at ourselves, and help each other look for something better.
In her book Rhythms of Rest, Shelly Miller points out the bald truth that busyness is a bully, pushing us to fit into the world’s patterns of thinking– whispering to us about who we need to be, and what we need to achieve, and what our lives should look like in order to be happy and loved and safe. And the more we go along with it in order to fit in, the more we lose of our true selves and our true purpose in life.
All the while Jesus is holding out His arms, calling us to rest there and be loved just as we are. When God calls us to Sabbath, He is giving us opportunity to detach from the world’s values and come into the light of His reality, let it re-shape our thinking. He wants to comfort our weary aching hearts with His love, refresh our hearts as we focus on Who-He-Is in worship. This is Sabbath, when we step into God’s holy presence….“and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) It can be just a few minutes to breathe deep and give thanks in an office cubicle, or a whispered invitation to “Come, Lord Jesus” in the heat of a stressful moment. It may be a joyful gathering of like minds, or a quiet morning on the back porch over coffee and your tattered Bible.
Whenever we step aside to listen for His voice we are finding Sabbath rest, and God says it is the secret to that abundant life He offers. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” (Isaiah 30:21) And we find our worth and our purpose here in the Creator’s presence– discover who He made us to be, and that we are beautiful in His eyes. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)
There’s nothing like a capable, self-sacrificing woman who isn’t afraid to stop and listen to her heart beat, in the presence of her Maker. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:25-26)
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Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31:30-31
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You hold my every moment;
Healer, Kari Jobe
You calm my raging seas;
You walk with me through fire,
And heal all my disease.
I trust in You, I trust in You.
I believe You’re my healer;
I believe You are all I need…
And I believe You’re my portion;
I believe You’re more than enough for me;
Jesus, You’re all I need.
We sing this song like always, the words on the screen… “You won’t relent until You have it all…my heart is Yours.” Funny how we can sing without really listening to what we are saying. And I can hear Him whisper in my spirit, “Do you mean it? Can I have your children? Your health? Your marriage?”
It’s a bit frightening to know the truth: God is not nearly as tolerant as we’d like to think He is, and His kind of love is more like an inexorable force of nature, as wild and overwhelming as any tidal wave, and quite determined to have every last bit of our hearts. So much of what we label as life’s stresses and difficulties are really His shaking us loose from life altogether, so that our hearts will be His alone. “For there is a love that is as strong as death, jealousy demanding as the grave…”
Something in us longs for that kind of exclusive intensity in love– the media industry thrives on it–but we feel more comfortable with it in the physical world, where we can experience it with the senses. What if all that is only a shadow of the spiritual world and the total surrender our hearts long for is meant for Someone much bigger?
The author of Hebrews said it this way: “Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.” (Hebrews 12:28-29) We don’t like to talk about that much, maybe because it sounds contradictory, the thankful worship and the fear of fire… but when the world is shaken loose from its moorings it should come to mind readily. Everything here can be shaken loose– must be shaken loose– so that we have our hands and hearts free to grasp the Kingdom that cannot ever be shaken, and God’s holy fire is quite willing to burn it all, in order to leave you with what matters most. He loves you, but He is Wind and Earthquake and Fire and Lion, and we would do well not to forget it. “…and many waters cannot quench this love….” Relentless. Be careful what you sing, because the truth you know in your head must needs be worked out in your heart and your life, if it is going to last forever.
“Come be the fire inside of me, come be the flame upon my heart…until You and I are one.” When you find the pearl of great value, would you not spend everything you have to gain it, as the merchant did in Jesus’ story? To be honest, it terrifies me sometimes, but as Peter said “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68) It is so worth it, in the long run.
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Over a sketch made idly to amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be. But over the great picture of his life—the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child—he will take endless trouble—and would doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient. One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.
CS Lewis, The Problem of Pain
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Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:25-26
The call to Sabbath-rest has become increasingly beautiful to me, these past few years. Less like a dry prescription for the good Christian life, and more like the beguiling tones of a Lover whispering: “Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away. For lo, the winter is past…” (Song of Solomon 2:10-11)
There is space here in Sabbath, for Jesus to re-write the falsehood of the Enemy, to gently straighten and re-align my thinking with “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable….” (Philippians 4:8) And sure, I can push on without His help, but the going gets much more slow and painful. I can hear Paul encouraging the early believers to “…make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:13) When I spend time with Jesus, I am strengthened and renewed, and the lies of the Enemy are exposed for what they are.
There is space in Sabbath moments, to feel His presence and hear Him say that all the ways I don’t measure up in this world don’t begin to measure up to the ocean-depths of His love for me. When I get too busy to step into His light, shame becomes a constant tormenting companion that drains my energy, drives me to try harder, work more, to make myself acceptable. But Paul is writing triumphantly,“Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies….Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us..” (Romans 8:33-34) I just need to take the time and space to remember what is true. I need time with my Savior, to contemplate Grace, and send shame running.
Here in the quiet there is space for His Spirit to connect the dots in my life, to tie together today’s scattered events and experiences into the larger narrative– see how it all fits together as part of His plans for me. When I don’t stop to listen and wait on Him, I miss that perspective, see only the confusing clutter and the jumbled emotions inside. It’s easier to lose focus, when all I can see is my mess– easier to doubt His hand at work in my world. And there is Paul reminding me again that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him….” (Romans 8:28)
When I come to Him, my eyes are opened to see that He is shepherding my soul in every circumstance, and will lead me through whatever comes. Not one of the details of my life escape His notice, and He has already woven them, both the good and the bad, into the story. It becomes easier to trust a Shepherd that is this kind to me.
And as I make the time to rest…to listen…to just be present with Jesus, the more precious Sabbath-rest becomes to my spirit. Sometimes you have to walk right into the ocean to really understand what it is like. I had no idea how beguiling its depths would be.
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Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
Psalm 34:8
how good God is. Blessed are you who run to Him.
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When I feel the cold of winter
Song of Solomon, Martin Smith
And this cloak of sadness,
I need You.
All the evil things that shake me,
All the words that break me–
I need You.
Over The Mountains, over the Sea…
Here You come running, my Lover to me.
Do not hide me from Your presence;
Pull me from Your shadows–
I need You.
Beauty, wrap Your arms around me;
Sing Your song of kindness—
I need You.
A friend told me how uplifting she found it, to name three things every day that she was thankful for. How it turned her eyes to God’s goodness and filled her heart with unexpected joy. Her story was like a light shining into my week turned burdened and gray with the dust of this world… the way window get grimy with everyday accumulation, until the sun’s rays only illuminate all the dirt getting in the way of seeing.
Her words reminded me that I used to give thanks every day and that I had stopped for some reason. It reminded me of Paul’s injunction to the Christ-followers of centuries past: “…be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:19-20) He understood how we need to do that for one another, to call each other back to truth and thankfulness and right thinking, almost constantly.
And the thing is, I know the slow soul-drain of fixing my eyes on what is immediately before me– the microscopic view of my little world with only this life in mind, and how very wearying that is. I’ve been here many times before, and by now I know the only remedy is to “turn [my] eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” (Helen Lemmel) I should know this inside and out by now. So how is it that I can find myself here again, in need of a heart-check?
When I am counting His blessings, tuning my heart to sing His praise, that is when I am most happy; that is when my soul feels most alive; that is when I can look ahead with hope for whatever comes. Looking back over the days, it’s hard to pinpoint when I stopped remembering to give thanks, and why exactly– although I do remember a delusional moment of self-congratulation, in which I thought the habit of thankfulness so well-worn it needed no more daily discipline. If there was a turning point, that was probably one.
I can see that whenever we are most satisfied with where we are, we are most in danger of losing focus. We need others around us: to hear each other’s stories, see each other’s growth, allow the grace that flows from the gifts of others into our own lives. We need them to sing songs of worship to us, speak the truth of Scripture to us, pull us into serving others. This is what keeps us growing and moving forward. This is what reminds us to give thanks for every precious gift from above. Like the Church-planter Paul says, “…Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body…when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16) There really is no substitute for this kind of community.
Whenever we are isolated from the rest of the Body, whether by circumstances or choices, we become handicapped in our growth. We need the prayers and encouragement of others, to remind us of who we are and where we are going– to remind us that all is grace, in the end. Living in community helps us to regularly wipe away the dust and grime of everyday living, so that God’s light can shine through more clearly. Living in community helps to keep us on track in this faith-race, speaking the Truth to one another in every way possible, so that no one gets lost along the way, or gets left behind.
So this week I am getting back to the basics, and counting what I am thankful for, once again. First on the list is this community of Christ-followers.
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There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back.
Elizabeth David
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And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24
Here at the brink of Easter the world teeters on the brink between death and life: fuzzy baby animals and pastel colors rioting everywhere against the matted brown remnants of Winter. And a person could feel overwhelmed at the rubble of brokenness, at all the things that don’t work right in this world. There isn’t one of us who hasn’t felt the weight of Adam’s curse in ways large and small, and maybe that’s why we plunge so eagerly into the glut of the calendar holidays, to forget just for awhile the aches and pains, the way relationships can get so tricky, the masks we wear and the walls we hide behind, all the little distractions that tangle around the feet of those who run. But here just before Easter Sunday (if you have the eyes to see it) life and death hang in the balance.
And here at Easter is the crux of the matter– all the Earth’s history and future summed up, condensed into one wrenching weekend. The world that was spoken into existence by God’s Word and broken by man’s rebellion lives in feverish denial of its sickness and in dread of death to come. The eternal living Word that entered our world dies at its hands (carrying all of its brokenness on His shoulders), and then just walks out of it again. And God’s creation groans and heaves in the cataclysm. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) Here at the cross, life and death lay at Jesus’ feet. Jesus is living proof that there is nothing that God’s love and forgiveness cannot accomplish for us.
Easter is the one holiday we need to remember all year. Death is not the same terrible enemy. And Life is not the same futile effort. Now all of God’s promises to us are coming true in Jesus. Now there is always Hope. “I…pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 1:19-20)
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Great is Your faithfulness, oh God;
Matt Maher
You wrestle with the sinner’s heart.
You lead us by still waters and to mercy,
And nothing can keep us apart.
So remember Your people,
Remember Your children,
Remember Your promise, oh God…
Your grace is enough for me.
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‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’
Ezekiel 37:4-6
I almost missed what the preacher said, right there in the middle of the music and the Lord’s Supper. “We don’t know how broken we are. And we don’t know how loved we are.” It wasn’t until the next day that it sank in deep enough to feel, and it pierced right through into the Humpty-Dumpty heart of me.
Here in the middle of Lent, with the cross set before us, we are taking time to face our own sin. Our self-indulgence, our lack of love, our pride, our vain ambition for things that are passing away. And maybe the worst part of our sorrow, in the most honest quiet moments, is the dim realization that no matter how much we can look at our brokenness, God sees more. Not just a matter of what we can know, but a matter of moral capacity…how much we are able to fathom, to feel, to bear in our spirits. He is the only One who understands just how diseased we are– the bone-deep fragility of men and women afflicted with sin. We are without excuse, without remedy, without hope even on our best days, although most of us have learned to cover up nicely, or at least distract ourselves from what we cannot put together again.
The Prophet Isaiah puts it out there in livestock terms: “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way…” (Isaiah 53:6) We may not have much personal experience with sheep, but anyone who has ever tried to shepherd a group of more than five children on an outing can grasp the general idea. I think it’s safe to assume that sheep are never fully aware of their path, or where it is leading them, or just how dangerous it is for them to be out there alone. I heard someone say once that “It’s not that sheep are stupid…it’s just that they are completely defenseless.” Indeed.
I have no defenses against the selfishness and death that eat away at my life, nor any defense in the face of the standards that I can’t measure up to. But Isaiah finishes his thought...”and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” My sin-disease and personal culpability laid fully on Someone Else big enough to bear both– on Jesus, the one Isaiah said was “like a lamb that is led to the slaughter.” (Isaiah 53:7)
In the middle-gray land of March, halfway between death and life, there is time to hear the Love that calls us. And isn’t that what we all need here, when we are looking death in the face?…To see beyond its wretched ugliness and finality, into the eyes of the Beloved One, who carries our death on His own shoulders, lays it into the ground, and leaves it there? “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering…” (Isaiah 53:4)
Here in the middle of Lent, the only way we will even be able to face the rubble inside is if we can also see Love’s glorious broken body standing in the middle of it. “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
And I have no defense against Love like this.
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Forty days, I am reflecting on my cross, my sins….Looking hard for release from this messy body of death. And there is Jesus. Jesus with a crown of thorns. Jesus bent low, God carrying my rotting mess, Grace doing what I cannot do, and I cannot ascend to God but He will descend to me….
Ann VosKamp
Jesus will have to do everything. He will have to accomplish it all. I am ashes and I am dust and I am in dire need and Lent has given me clear eyes to see my sin and I am the one broken under all this skin.
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We are His portion and He is our prize,
John Mark McMillan
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes–
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest.
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way
He loves us…
Oh how He loves us.