Promises, Promises

I keep hearing the deejays say on the radio that “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”  But that’s all they are promising, and given the news headlines, I wonder if they are trying to convince us, or themselves. And it’s only a few days into December, and already moms are looking a little wild-eyed at the shopping and the decorating and the parties of Christmas. The calendar promises a regular holiday whirlwind that might distract from the real-life reports from the doctor, and the daily work pressures, and the loneliness; but we all know how those sit heavy on our hearts, at the end of the day.

To be honest, some years it is hard to get excited about the season, and some years it feels like I am decorating this evergreen tree by faith, stepping out into Celebration when my heart hasn’t quite caught up yet. But I do it anyway. Because the only promise that matters was fulfilled right before our eyes on Christmas: the Babe is born into our dirt and noise, and He will save us from our sin.

It’s the oldest promise in the Book, the one that comes right after Adam and Eve wrecked the world, and it comes veiled in the figurative language of prophecy. I feel sure that our first parents had no idea it would take so long to be fulfilled, but they lived in faith that it would come at the right time. And weren’t all the generations since, just building their lives on faith? From Sarah who birthed her promised son at the ripe old age of ninety and laughed at the sheer ridiculous wonder of it, right down to Anna who spent her solitary life camped out on the doorstep of the House of the Lord, praying and waiting for the Anointed One.

Isaiah sings out the promise most clearly: “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given…. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6) The angel messenger carries the promise to a young girl in her parents’ home, “…the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.” (Luke 1:35) And the angel armies in the skies above Bethlehem pick up the refrain, shouting it to the hilltops: “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests.” (Luke 2:14)

We too lift our voices at Christmas, put up our trees to remember the promise, and we light them in full hope of God’s faithfulness.  “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.” (2 Corinthians 1:20)

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Meanwhile, this grand primeval promise, ‘The seed of the woman shall bruise the head of the serpent,’ would stand out as a beacon-light to all mankind on their way, burning brighter and brighter, first in the promise to Shem, next in that to Abraham, then in the prophecy of Jacob, and so on through the types of the Law to the promises of the Prophets, till in the fullness of time ‘the Sun of Righteousness’ arose ‘with healing under His wings!

Alfred Edersheim

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And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Revelation 21:3-4

On Choosing Celebration and Finding Joy

Originally published April 21, 2012.

I am reading through Paul’s letter to the Philippians at night, in a thick hardbound edition of The Message.  I love the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases Paul’s letters in fresh energetic language that jumps off the page with the sheer force of the writer’s personality.  I picture Paul a lot that way: colorful, energetic, passionate  and driven about his message to the point of being offensive at times….tact was clearly not his strong suit.  But then, when you are an itinerant preacher spreading the good news of salvation to the bulk of the civilized world in the first century, there are more pressing concerns than being “nice.”

I have been parked in chapter 4 for the past few nights.  The middle of that chapter is one of my very favorite “how to live” passages of Scripture anyway, but this week I have been captivated by the way Peterson phrases it: “Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! “  I can picture PauI leaning forward, eyes alight.  His is the voice of experience– in a life without any of the comforts we prefer on a daily basis, he has discovered an ever-flowing fountain of joy, and urges his readers to search it out. Revel in God and there will be no more room for self-pity, or despair, or even run-of-the-mill grumpiness on general principles.  Celebrate the infinite God and you’ll never run out of joy, never come to the end of Him.

We are used to following our feelings, paying attention to them and letting them move us through life…it is the pattern of this world that we have conformed to since birth.  Has it never occurred to us that a woman’s hurt feelings are what got us into this mess to begin with?  And the more we follow our feelings the more mixed up our minds get.  What a surprise to Self to discover that God is far more concerned with our obedience than with our comfort.

No wonder most of Scripture’s practical how-to passages are teaching us how to stop listening to the feelings of Self and instead listen to the Spirit of God…how to be transformed by the renewing of the mind.  Think first, choose how to respond, then act in a way that pleases God, and the feelings will follow.

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” 

Philippians 4:6-7

I come back to this over and over, transfixed by that last line.  When I follow my feelings– focus on them and act out of them– I am putting them at the center of my life, letting them control me.  Worry?  Discouragement?  Fear?  Anger?  No good can come from following where they lead.

Choose to do this instead, Paul says… choose to offer up those feelings to the One who made them and put Him in the center of your life where He belongs.  Do this… choose this…it’s an act of the will, an act of obedience.  Let your mind be transformed by Jesus and lead you to what is right, and let the feelings tag along behind.  Paul even leaves me pointers on what to think about if I want a transformed mind– if I want to follow Christ instead of these tyrants of emotion: “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” (Philippians 4:8)

Simply put, I live best when I fill my mind with God’s truth… all He has done for me, all that He is… thankfulness and praise taking the lead.  It’s an every day kind of choice, and some days every minute.  So I keep coming back to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, soaking the reminders in, deep down to the heart.   It’s the best prescription there is for getting emotions back on track.

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Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

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Better is a moment that I spend with You
Than a million other days away
I’m running, I’m running
I’m running to the secret place
Hands are lifted high, hearts awake to life
We are satisfied here with You, here with You
Chains will hit the floor, broken lives restored
We couldn’t ask for more here with You, here with You

The Secret Place, Phil Wickham

Faith for Whatever Lies Ahead

In this world of so many things gone wrong that we cannot fix, uncertain outcomes, unpredictable circumstances, sometimes all you want is assurances to hang onto. Super-powers would be nice, but I would settle for a burning bush, or fiery chariots, or a shepherd’s rod that can turn into a snake. In our small group we sometimes joke about how neon signs would be helpful when we go looking for direction and assurance, but the joking is just a cover-up for a little bit of frustration and a very real fear that we might get left on our own.  

I think how I might cheerfully throw myself at new under-takings, could bravely face the unknown, if I only had a fleece like Gideon did, letting me know for sure that God’s power was overshadowing me and everything would turn out well. But then I realize how crazy that sounds, because I have seen a fleece in real life: a shaggy, raggedy thing of indeterminate color, and smelling to high heaven when wet. Gideon’s confidence-booster was not very impressive when you take a good look at it– no more significant than any of the things I might hang onto as divine signposts, and isn’t it funny how seriously we wish for them to help us out? Especially when Jesus says to Gideon and to us, “I will be with you….I will stay…” (Judges 6:16,18) Shouldn’t the promise of the Almighty be sufficient?

When I really think about it, what made the fleece significant was the concrete evidence of God living and active, reaching down into the gritty everyday details of a farmer’s life. Because that is what Gideon needed to know most of all– that he was not alone and that there was a God who could work in the many situations Gideon could not control….things like where the dew fell… and who lived and died…and the future of his family. Isn’t that what we all need to know, when it comes right down to it? No wonder we are so keen about that smelly bit of wool.

God was very patient with Gideon’s need to see with his own eyes, touch the wet wool with his own fingers, smell the evidence of divine power with his own nose. But then, Gideon was just meeting the Almighty for the first time, had nothing but old stories handed down through generations to inform his faith. And I hold the God-breathed record in my hands, the revelation of who God Is, the inked words of the Word coming in flesh, and I feel ashamed.

Why do I sometimes think it would be easier to understand a piece of wool or wood or weather for answers (just because I can touch them and see them) rather than God Himself? If I cannot put my trust in God’s assurances, cannot trust the Spirit who has made His habitation with me, then isn’t looking elsewhere just a fancy word for idolatry? And why would I expect God to indulge my desire for control, especially when it is only an illusion after all? Granted, there is a learning curve in following the Spirit’s leading, and God is still very patient, but sometimes I just need to step out and act on what He has already said, and trust Him for the outcome.

Interestingly, when Gideon saw God face to face, he named Him Jehovah-shalom…The Lord is Peace. There was an old superstition that to see the face of God meant certain death, so when Gideon realized that it was the Lord Himself who had come to visit him, he was sure it was all over. The Lord is Peace came from his relief that God intended good, not ill, for him. That is what stood out to Gideon about the whole encounter. But after the fact, when he was neck-deep in the logistics of leading an army of beaten-down farmers against a superior foe, when the memory of Voice and Fire had blurred at the edges, he needed to know for sure that the calling was true, and the power was real, and the Presence remained.

So he pulled out that raggedy fleece and laid it out under the stars, begging God to do all the things he could not, in this very real, very uncertain world; I’m not sure which is more remarkable, that the farmer trusted enough to ask for yet another sign, or that God stooped to touch his dirty rags, or that the Lord’s promise to His people still rings out clear through the centuries: “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Because this is still what we need to know most of all, and God still bends to assure us of His presence: His presence is peace, and He is good, and He is with us. “…Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) No temporary fleece, but a blazing Presence in our hearts, the Living One who is able to control all the things we care about most and are unable to change. “For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.'” (2 Corinthians 6:16)  What more do we need?

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If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

James 1:5-8

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We assume favor with God means all the details of life fall simply into place. A comfortable life equals achieving insider status. But more than knowing how the future will look, God desires relationship. He knows your name and you have this assurance: ‘My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.’

Become certain that you are loved, and life is a secure adventure into uncertainty.

Shelly Miller

Feeling The Need

So I am really trying to live in the Truth that God is enough, this week. When the needs are real and the resources fall short, no matter how I try to rearrange them, I am praying for God’s supply and trusting that it will come. Honestly I am, and I have been telling people that He will provide, so as to be held accountable for my faith…even though part of me whispers that it would be safer not to make that public, just in case. It’s sad how unbelief clings to the soul like the cobweb remains of the grave. But I keep brushing it free and trying to stand in the light of what I know.

Some days I feel like Elijah, hiding out in the middle of nowhere by the brook Kerith, watching it dry up bit by bit and wondering if the scavenger birds will bring him anything today, and when this experiment will end.* What can you expect of wild birds, after all? And how much is too much to expect from God’s hand, when you don’t even know where He is going with this? If it were up to me, I would fill this need right now and move on with the plan, so clearly our goals are not the same here. (Times like this remind you just how far outside of Creation He is…actually something Other.) I’m trying to trust that His goals are the important ones.

And when I toss and turn at night under a growing weight of dread, I hold on with both hands to Who He Is and what He has promised, even while my brain sorts through ideas and options and keeps coming up blank. Like the ravens’ gifts, His provision will be just what is needed for this day, at the correct time. I keep reminding myself and others that He has met our needs countless times before, and often at the last minute. What I need is eyes to recognize it when it comes, and the patience to wait. I’m getting better. Maybe someday I can even do it very peacefully.

*Read Elijah’s story in 1 Kings 17.

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You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.

Isaiah 26:3

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‘Who so hearkeneth unto me,’ He says, ‘shall dwell safely; and shall be quiet from fear of evil.’ And this is a statement that no one dare question. If we would really hearken unto God, which means not only hearing Him, but believing what we hear, we could not fail to know that, just because He is God, He cannot do other than care for us as He cares for the apple of His eye; and that all that tender love and divine wisdom can do for our welfare, must be and will be unfailingly done. Not a single loophole for worry or fear is left to the soul that knows God.

Hannah Whitall Smith

Simply Trusting

For all those things that are outside our circle of influence, let there be this word of encouragement today, that we can trust the One who holds everything in His hands. “The God Who lives forever is the Lord, the One Who made the ends of the earth. He will not become weak or tired. His understanding is too great for us to begin to know.” (Isaiah 40:28)

 He’s got this. You can rest in His love: “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (Zephaniah 3:17) Be still, and listen to Him singing.

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If I believe in God, in a Being who made me, and fashioned me, and knows my wants and capacities and necessities, because He gave them to me, and who is perfectly good and loving, righteous, and perfectly wise and powerful– whatever my circumstances inward or outward may be, however thick the darkness which encompasses me– I yet can trust, yea, be assured, that all will be well, that He can draw light out of darkness, and make crooked things straight.

Thomas Erskine

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And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness–secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the One who calls you by name.

Isaiah 45:3

Follow the Leader

I don’t know about you, but my emotions are usually the first to respond to a situation, and the last to catch on to what is actually true.  That’s why it’s best not to let them lead.

There are a million voices that would argue that point loudly, from celebrities to coaches to social influencers and politicians– that’s one thing almost everyone seems to agree on, that we should ignore our heads and follow our hearts wherever they lead. I suppose it would be the natural conclusion, if deep inside yourself is the agreed-upon place to look for truth and meaning in this world. Seems like a lot of Christ-followers get pulled into the blinding light of that sun, until even their faith journey takes on a strangely Self-tinged relativistic hue. Life is deeper and richer because of our emotions, and it seems only natural to follow where those powerful tides pull us, right?

But a long time ago a wise man told me that your ability to do the right thing depends on choosing to do it regardless of how you feel. Let reason and faith inform your will, and bend that will in surrender to God, and the emotions will trail along behind until they gradually fall in line. Unfortunately, he neglected to mention how fiercely said emotions would make themselves known….or what a battle it would be to consistently choose what is right against the tide of feeling….and how wearing a mask to show the right things on the outside is not the same thing as truly choosing…but that is another story altogether. He knew what he was talking about, that emotions are not secure footing for a life, and there is Truth that will not lead you wrong.

You have to know what voices to listen to, know what can lead you well, if you want a good outcome. The Wise King agrees that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10) Jesus put it in the form of a story that anyone could understand, that a wise person listened and built his life on God’s truth, and all the storms of life couldn’t knock him down. If the foolish man built on shifting sands, he had only himself to blame when everything fell apart. And still, this lesson is taking a lifetime to learn.

I have to remind myself over and over again: My feelings about a thing do not determine whether it is right or wrong…or even if it is real. My feelings are not the best informant on the value of something, or the wisdom or health of a decision. My feelings are a gift for me to steward, given by the Creator because He values relationship. My feelings are part of who He made me to be, but like every other part, they need to be re-shaped day by day by His Spirit living in me. And He is big enough to handle all the wayward emotions in me, without alarm or reproach. The One who directs my steps and gives me Truth to stand on is the same One who knows every word before I say it, sees my deepest heart, and catches every tear that falls. “You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!” (Psalm 139:5-6)

I find that choosing to give thanks reminds me where to look and who to listen to, as if gratitude were a compass on this Faith-journey. .Praise is an anchor that re-orients my heart to the firm footing of His Truth. And when you are lost in a sea of emotions, it is trusting God and accepting what He gives you that brings clarity to swirling thoughts, and calms the storm.  A sister-mentor reminds “No one receives the peace of God without giving thanks to God.” (Ann VosKamp)

The myriad voices of this world might call for us to follow our hearts, no matter in what winding ways they lead. But Jesus is calling us to take up our cross and follow Him, and His is the narrow way that leads us straight Home. We can choose to take the next right step, choose to give thanks, and let the emotions find their safe place in Him.

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Even when my strength is lost,
I’ll praise You.
Even when I have no song,
I’ll praise You.
Even when it’s hard to find the words–
Louder then I’ll sing Your praise…
I will only sing Your praise….

And my heart burns only for You–
You are all, You are all I want,
And my soul waits only for You;
And I will sing till the morning has come.

Even When It Hurts, Hillsong United

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

The Only Answer that Satisfies


Seems like whenever you bring up the story of Job, everyone is quick to criticize his wife and his friends. Maybe it’s because the whole story is so disturbing to us, and it’s kind of a relief to be able to assign blame somewhere. The question of human suffering and how God is involved in it has plagued us since the beginning– the very fact that the book of Job was recorded attests to that, and the story does not come to the tidy conclusions we might wish for.  And we all struggle with knowing what to say when someone we care about is going through a hard time. So yeah, maybe we tend to single out the less complicated characters for their faults, so we don’t have to think about Job sitting in the ash heap.

The one woman who speaks in the story rarely even gets a vote of sympathy, despite the fact that she is the one who brought those seven sons and three daughters into the world (the ones that were tragically crushed in hurricane winds– what mother can stand such devastation?). Not to mention that she is suffering the loss of possessions and her husband’s health, right alongside him. She can be forgiven for being a little out of her mind. When she tells Job to “curse God and die” she is doing what the Enemy predicted they would do– and he was probably rubbing his hands together gleefully at the prospect of winning his wager. The Enemy felt sure that humans only worship God for what they can get out of Him, and when the blessings stop flowing, so does the sacrifice and praise. She kind of felt the same way. She wasn’t wishing her husband were dead, or abandoning him…only stating the obvious horror, that if God is displeased with you, you’re beyond help, so you may as well give up on serving Him and make a quick and merciful end to it at least.

But Job hangs on stubborn to his convictions, and chides her for losing faith: God is either worthy of praise or He is not, regardless of the circumstances. (To her credit, she sticks around through the whole miserable affair and then goes on to bear another ten children– sturdy woman that she is.) Enter Job’s friends, who are coming to sit with him in mourning, according to middle-eastern custom. We point to them as poor friends because they failed to comfort him. After all, we know what it feels like to have friends let us down when we are hurting and in need…and we often feel so awkward ourselves, in knowing how to comfort others. These guys believe in tough love, and take it as their duty to help get their failing friend back on track. In their theology, you reap what you sow, and it’s somewhere between naivety and arrogance to protest that you planted something different, when the crops are standing right there in full bloom. They have no idea that they are only promoting a religious variation on the Enemy’s theme. Their intentions are good, at least.

And here’s the interesting thing: we judge these people as lacking in sympathy and practical help, in a situation of horrendous loss, and end up missing the point as much as they do. Job’s grief is heart-rending, but it is God’s glory that is on trial, and Job is His chief witness. God criticizes the men not because they failed to comfort, but because they did not know Him the way Job did. Job was wrestling honestly with his experience; he was awash with raw emotion, and the God he served seemed distant… but he was not giving up. He still believed that God was ruling over all things, and worthy of worship, regardless of his experiences. Rightly then, God’s answer to Job’s suffering has nothing to do with explanations or comfort–He shows up personally to reveal His glory to this wreck of a man sitting in the ashes with his neighbors.

And that is what we need to see in times of great pain, when our focus tends to narrow down, to channel all our energy into coping with our circumstances and our feelings; what we really need is a bigger perspective. As much as we look for answers to all the why? questions, realistically speaking there is nothing that will take away the pain of our loss…not even replacing what was taken away. And as valuable as the comfort and sympathy of others is to us in those times, there is still no short-cut or remedy for grief except to go through it one day at a time. But what if we could look at our circumstances through a different lens altogether?

God’s answer to suffering is to reveal His own power and wisdom and authority. If you can’t manage the entire created universe in all of its intricacy and splendor, then you simply are not qualified to handle the lives of men. And if you don’t understand God’s ways and thoughts and plans, then what makes you think you can judge His affairs? What we tend to lose sight of in the midst of life’s circumstances is that God and His glory are at the center of all things, and it is His business to rule all things well. If we worship Him, and love and serve one another through the temporary joys and sorrows of this world, that is plenty enough to keep us busy.

The book of Job is Theology 101: He is God and we are not. There is more to the world than what we can see. There are forces at work which we don’t understand. Our emotions and thoughts do not define what is true…or even what is real. The Creator’s care for all that He has made is sheer Grace. It was an answer big enough to make Job repent and worship, while the friends realized their presumption in deciding who was worthy of God’s blessing. And God Himself suggested that Job show them what grace looked like. “My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.” (Job 42:8)

God’s answer to human suffering remains the same– that He is intimately and powerfully involved in His creation, and He is with us in our pain, redeeming all things for our good and His glory. It’s what our hurting hearts most desperately need to know. And if we have any doubts, we can look to the cross where He laid bare His heart and suffered for all of us….where He silenced the accusations of the Enemy once and for all with the illogic of grace.

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For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16

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There’s a place where mercy reigns
And never dies;
There’s a place where streams of grace
Flow deep and wide;
Where all the love I’ve ever found
Comes like a flood,
Comes flowing down…
At the cross, at the cross,
I surrender my life–
I’m in awe of You.

At The Cross, Chris Tomlin

Badge of Courage

**Originally posted May 2017.

As we talk about discontent and acceptance, and the faith that enables us to handle both well, I keep thinking about the circumstances in life that are outside our control. The things that refuse to bend to your influence, no matter how hard you try. Those unyielding parameters of life are hard to accept when they make life difficult or just plain miserable. And they tend to shape you. It can be anything from the color of your hair, to the strength of your body, to the family you were born into, or the consequences of choices made a long time ago….at some point you have to just say “it is what it is” (if only for the sake of your mental health) and figure out how to live in that place, no matter how it chafes. Paradoxically, in the very act of surrendering your will and accepting things you can not control, you often find the power to change yourself and your surroundings in unexpected ways.

It takes a special kind of courage to live one day after another in a place you’d rather not be. To persevere in countless small acts of service. To take up the cross that will put Self to death, and follow Jesus day in and day out for the span of your life. If we are honest, many of us would rather make a grand noble gesture and be done. But there is a bravery that runs deeper, that is in for the long haul– the kind of unwavering faith that hangs in there, and doesn’t give up, in spite of the pain. Courage that can count the good gifts of the Creator, even through the tears of this world’s wounds, and can keep on believing that God “exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6) It is here that the Spirit-breathed promises become very real and precious to the heart: “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3)…“do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ” (Isaiah 41:10)…”Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed” (Isaiah 54:10)….Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

Like Leah, who was overlooked for her beautiful lively younger sister and then married off to the eager suitor anyway in an elaborate plot that involved swapping out veiled brides and keeping the lights turned low. No one was happy about the outcome of that night, except for the father, who took care of both daughters at once and gained a hard-working son-in-law who also happened to be blessed by the Lord– handy fellow to have in the family. And although Leah may have rejoiced for the moment at the prospect of home and husband and position, still there remained the small fact that her husband was in love with her very own sister, who was everything Leah was not. Hard place for a young woman to live, day after day, but what else could she do? And in bending herself to those hard things, a beauty that is all her own begins to emerge.

I see unwanted Leah naming her sons as constant reminders of God’s presence in the midst of her unhappy marriage. I can imagine her finding joy in their baby smiles and warm sturdy bodies held close, taking comfort in the fact that God in heaven sees her and stoops to her need. It takes courage to stare down the circumstances you’ve been given and give thanks when your heart is broken; it takes both humility and strength to accept what is out of your control and focus on God’s provision for you in the wilderness. She may have been as delicate and weak as the gazelle for which she was named, but in longing for the love of a husband, Leah found the Love that never fails and became a mother of the tribes of Israel.

And when you’ve accepted where you are, and begin to see God’s provision for you there, gratitude bubbles up naturally from the person you are becoming. Giving thanks is one more act of bravery, a chin-lifting resolution that refuses to give in to either self-pity or despair, regardless of the way things look. Not because you are so tough or so capable, but because you know Who really moves the universe. I may feel helpless in the face of circumstances, but I can count on the God who says He is working all things together for good in my story. “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning…” (Psalm 130:5-6) 

Gratitude is like a badge of courage to wear in the visible Everyday, proclaiming our hope and steadfast faith in the unseen Eternal. I don’t know what color gratitude is, but I see how it reflects the light of heaven’s glory.

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When trouble, restless fears, anxious fretfulness, strive to overpower the soul, our safety is in saying, ‘My God, I believe in Thy perfect goodness and wisdom and mercy. What Thou doest I cannot now understand; but I shall one day see it all plainly. Meanwhile I accept Thy will, whatever it may be, unquestioning, without reserve.’

H.L. Sidney Lear

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The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:17-18

On Saying Yes to Difficult Things

We talk about acceptance of circumstances as if it were a polite invitation sent to the door, which you could consider, and to which you could give a thoughtful response. In reality, unlooked-for circumstances generally drop in like a pipe-bomb over your garden wall, blowing all your careful cultivation to bits. Any talk of acceptance then, becomes more a question of what you will do in the face of upheaval, and sometimes it feels like nothing more than surviving. But how you cope with both the bearable and the unbearable in life has life-changing consequences– it is shaping the very heart of you, whether you realize it or not.

Unfortunately, it’s usually a matter of trial and error, because in this world the uncertain and unexpected are going to crash in upon you again and again as you grow, and you will have to figure out what to do with those many things outside your circle of influence. Most of us struggle all our lives with acceptance of circumstances. Of what there is. Of what there is not. Of what may be. Of what has already been. I am pretty sure I still have a lot to learn on the subject, but I can at least look back and put words to what I’ve already tried and found wanting.

I know that acceptance is not the same as resignation, dull passivity to what cannot be escaped. You might be going through the motions on the outside, but inside your spirit will be crying out “in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1) That way is a desert you could wander in for the rest of your journey, losing all sense of direction– losing hope. You can see the wilderness in a person’s eyes when she has given up to her circumstances.

I have also found that acceptance is more than a determination that rises to the occasion, a gritting of teeth resolved to do what must be done. There will always come a day when you cannot possibly be strong enough, good enough, smart enough to make it work. Self-sufficiency feels empowering and meaningful for awhile, but this world is enough to wear down the hardiest spirits, and when you run out of sheer will to live, how will you deal with the next thing then?

And acceptance is more than saying the right words and doing the right things on the outside. That way might feel like peace, seems like a path that will lead in the right direction. But you can cover up a pile of resentment and pain with a pretty-face mask; surely you know that the volcano will spew eventually, and the truth will out.

Since I have so far in life mostly succeeded in wrestling around with all the wrong ideas, these days I am trying to frame more positive words to describe what acceptance is. And I see how there is an acceptance that takes all circumstances as from the hands of a Creator who has every right to rule over what He has made, and every power to do it well. An acceptance that doubts neither the love nor the goodness of the One who does so, but looks upward with the innocent trust of a child. At some point you have to stop trying to figure out what you can do, and rest in Someone Else. Acceptance gives up the fight to be in charge, and bows to the Maker of heaven and earth…and discovers a surprising relief.

Not only does it set your soul at peace, to stop fighting everything, but it opens your heart and mind to new ways of doing things. Paul the Church Planter said it like this: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2) I am used to hearing the importance of the first part of that verse– of changing and being changed– and until recently the last part just kind of slid on by. But don’t miss that the end result of transformation is to finally understand and accept God’s will as your own. This is the Kingdom of God becoming real in me, when what He wants done, gets done, “on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10)– and the only way that happens is by the power of the Holy Spirit working in me.

Acceptance of God’s plans means letting go of my personal declaration of independence and capability; it means relinquishing my very-patriotic rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, for the sake of following Christ, wherever He leads. Acceptance is not anything I can muster up on my own, which kind of explains all the wrestling with it. Acceptance comes with the Holy Spirit’s powerful presence and my surrender to Him. And then I begin to see God’s plan at work in my life, and can recognize it for what it is….good and just the right thing for me, regardless of whether the circumstances make sense to my head. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) I can hear His whispers of love, and sense His guiding hand through the situation. It’s like finding riches in a secret place.

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Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, nd I trust Him.

Psalm 91:1-2

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Thank You for the wilderness,
Where I learned to thirst for Your presence;
If I’d never known that place
How could I have known You are better?
Thank You for the lonely times,
When I learned to live in the silence;
As the other voices fade
I can hear You calling me, Jesus,
And it’s worth it all just to know You more.
You’ve done great things–
Jesus, Your love never fails me.
My soul will sing ‘You have done great things.’
Thank You for the scars I bear;
They declare that You are my healer.
How could I have seen your strength,
If You never showed me my weakness?
And it’s worth it all, just to know You more.

Great Things, Elevation Worship

Hope-Full

**Originally posted August, 2017.

I’m not sure what I was thinking when I chose the word at the beginning of the year and wrote down Hope in curving letters on the page. But I can say that when I asked God what He wanted to do in my life this year, the answer came back quietly, persistently: Hope. It seemed like a good way to begin the year: new beginnings and bright horizons and all that, so I hung it up where I could see it, to remind me. I wasn’t sure exactly what it meant, but surely, we of all people should be people of hope, because of our God who can do all things.

I was most definitely not thinking that it would be the one word we would be needing most. Hope. When you are facing one impossible thing after another, and the gale-winds just won’t stop blowing, Hope seems like a ridiculously flimsy flag to wave in the air. Yet there it hangs like a banner flying brave across my shelves, every time I walk into the room– a silent reminder and a promise. And somehow, as days turn into weeks, turn into the months of a year, Hope is being redefined into a most sturdy anchor for the soul. Because hope has nothing to do with what is going on around us, and everything to do with what is happening inside of us. And the promise is not that we will get what we are longing for, but that we will get Himself, and He will be enough.  In Jesus, God fulfills all His promises. He comes to us, and says over and over again, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified …for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Sometimes it is really hard to know what to hope for, especially when the future seems so uncertain and the world is going crazy all around you. But this I do know: about the time you stop hanging onto the good things you want God to do for you, and start hanging onto Him alone, as the One who is mighty to save, you begin to notice what He is doing deep in your heart. Instead of grasping at straws for your own way out of the mess you are in, so you can survive, you just start taking one step at a time in the simple knowledge that God is walking with you and you will be okay whatever happens.

Hope is looking at what is going on around you, and believing there is a whole lot more that you cannot see. Hope is acting on that faith in everyday relationships and everyday decisions, because you know God is good and He is accomplishing something worthwhile.  Hope isn’t afraid to lean on others, or to admit that sometimes life hurts unbearably– it simply refuses to give up under the load. Hope knows that “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” (Psalm 91:1) And is this not following in the footsteps of our Savior, being willing to bear intolerable things with childlike trust in the Father’s plan?

The Musician-King didn’t believe in pretending to be all right when he was not; he was an honest shepherd who loved God with all his might, and poured out his soul in his songs to the Lord: “Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord…hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy….I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope…” (Psalm 130:1-2, 5) When you finally want the Giver more than anything He can give–then you have found a hope you can hold onto.

A thousand years later, the Church-Planter agreed, and added his own triumphant proof to the matter: “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5) This is the hope that God wants to give us– a certain-sure hope that reaches beyond the temporary happenings of this world and embraces the reality of the next. We have all the hope we need, because we have all of Him.

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For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,  while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ…

Titus 2:11-13

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Doesn’t matter what I feel
Doesn’t matter what I see
My hope will always be
In Your promises to me
Now I’m casting out all fear
For Your love has set me free
My hope will always be
In Your promises to me

Your Promises, Elevation Worship