Author Archives: Laurel

Seeing the Forest for The Trees

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The older I get, the more I see how God’s plan is so much bigger than we picture it. Maybe it’s because I am in a different stage of life now, and the race has slowed down enough to allow me to stand back and observe. And perhaps also it is the testimony of older Christ-followers that are ahead of me on the path, the way their priorities and perspectives are changing as they go.

Our own plans are inextricable from what we need and desire in life, very firmly entangled in what we can see and touch. And our theology happily concurs that God is the Creator of all of this and is immanently present to our experiences here, obviously interested in the course of our lives and in how we grow. Jesus said something of that sort, after all: “…not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31) That kind of God– who pays attention to the minutiae of hair and feathers and all things falling– is surely concerned with the bigger events in our lives. It is an easy step to thinking that God’s plans must be similar to ours, about the days we live here on this earth. And it is about our days here, but only because His attention is so vast that it can encompass everything that concerns me with no effort at all. “You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.: (Psalm 40:5)

I wonder if– in our need to grasp God’s immanence, His closeness to us– we have lost some of our understanding of transcendence. Perhaps in our wonder over His putting on skin to come down to us, we forget how very Other He is, how the Old Testament prophets fell on their faces at His voice, and how Moses’ face shone with the light of God’s glory so that he had to cover it with a veil. People get a little spooked by such obvious signs of other-worldliness walking around in ordinary daylight; maybe it’s more comfortable if we tame our notion of God enough that He can fit into our own dreams and plans… stir our faith into the American Dream and live out our days pleasantly here. Or maybe it’s just the self-absorbed tendency of human nature to assume that God’s plan for me is all about my experience in life: my feelings, my needs, my hopes and desires.

Does it not occur to us that as people who will live forever, planning only for this life would be remarkably short-sighted? Truth be told, we usually can’t picture the Life After well enough to have plans about it; it seems more of a vague happy white space full of light and people we love. God however, has very definite plans, and they are all about that eternal future and our place in it, first and foremost the matter of re-creating us, bringing our souls back to life and into the kingdom of His Son. But that is only the beginning: “…you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple.” (1 Peter 2:5) A living stone, being shaped for its place in a temple where God’s glory will be worshiped forever…and my biggest concern today is getting everything done? Paul says clearly, over and over again “…dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God….God’s will is for you to be holy…” (1 Thessalonians 4:1-3) The best thing I will do today is please Him, in dealing with the everyday circumstances of living here; this is His plan for me. “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory….” (2 Corinthians 3:18) These long-term plans are much larger than most of the things that concern us day-to-day, but they intersect the visible world in very real ways.

A long time ago someone should have warned me that God was much more interested in my obedience than in my happiness (although there is joy to be found in doing what pleases my Father). He cares far more about pushing me to exercise faith than He does about relieving my stress (although the more I trust Him I find the less I stress about circumstances). Too often I live as though He is here to help me out, to make my life easier. The fact is, our Father is still re-creating us from the inside out to look more like Jesus, and that shaping process is His primary plan for us. All the other details of life matter only because they impact His plan and influence us, and He is using everything that happens (the good, the difficult, the ugly, nothing wasted) to those ends. So even though I don’t completely understand that plan, it does relieve much of the tension over which car I should choose and what I do the day after next. All I need to decide is whether to listen to His voice and live in a way that glorifies Him, over and over throughout my day, every day, and let Him accomplish His plan in the way He knows is best for me.

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“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

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“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

What Is Mine to Do

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Sometimes the hardest part of understanding God’s sovereign right-to-rule and my freedom to choose is knowing what I can control and what I cannot.

I can waste a lot of energy and turmoil in regret over the past: agonizing over decisions made that led down this path or that, punishing myself for words spoken too carelessly or for failing to speak at all, for selfish actions, for not living up to expectations (mine or anyone else’s)– the past can be a deep black hole there is no recovering from, for a borderline perfectionist. And the thing is, all the energy in the world cannot rewind time or give me a do-over. The past is done and I have no more influence there. The Apostle Paul is another one who left his own shameful past at the cross of Christ and walked on as a new man… “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Philippians 3:13-14) I can choose to accept Christ’s forgiveness and let go of the past, trusting Him to use even my failures for good in the end. This I can do.

The future too can suck the life right out of me, if I let fear overtake me. I learned years ago to not even open the door to certain thoughts, because once over the threshold they grow to larger-than-life-sized and take over my mental landscape. Even the common ordinary worries can consume my thinking if I am not persistently trusting. And Jesus Himself gently reminds me that the future is not in my hands: “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:27) Some things are not mine to control, but His, and accepting that simple fact relieves me of a burden that is way too heavy for me to bear. And He reminds me of the attention He gives to the smallest of His creation, how well He knows what I need… “if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” (Matthew 6:30) I can choose to give my worries into His trustworthy hands and live at peace in the present moment. This I can do.

Jesus understood how deeply our hearts get entwined in the cares of this world we live in, how we see injustice and pain and need all around, how we wrestle with our own limitations in so many of the issues that concern us. He experienced firsthand the physical needs that weaken us, and the isolation of our souls trapped in these clay bodies– and although He laid down the infinite power that was His by right, He did not leave behind the limitless love that was His Father’s heart. He knows the temptations to fix and manipulate the world we walk in, the pull to get our needs met any way we can, the sorrow over all the broken pieces. And I am glad He tells me what is mine to choose and what is not, in the midst of it: “So don’t worry about these things….These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:31-33) I can choose to offer up my concerns and burdens to Him, to live with integrity and obey what He tells me to do in my corner of the world, and leave the bigger picture to His wise judgment. This I can do.

I can choose to set my heart on God above all else. I can set my energies to pursuing His plan for me…transformation into the likeness of Jesus and living a life worthy of Him. I can choose to grow in knowledge and understanding of His Truth. I can practice abiding in His presence and trusting in His provision in everyday situations. I can worship and give thanks and stand alert to the spiritual battle that rages unseen. And in case I get to thinking this is all very abstract and irrelevant to the daily situations of work and family, the Church-planter Paul offers pages and pages of letters, telling exactly how my choices should look on my street and in my home and in my church. This is what is mine to do: live as a child of God in the circumstances of my day, because the only thing I have the power to decide is who I will be today…how I will respond to the things around me, and how much I will listen to the Helper who lives in me. It is an everyday choice to bow to the Ruler on the throne of Heaven or to do things my way– Eve’s original choice from the Garden played out a million different ways in each of our lives, every day we walk this earth.

There is both warning and mercy in Jesus’ declaration,“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34) There will be difficult things to face today. And again tomorrow. But we only get one day that is truly subject to our will– in this day, and Today only,  I am free to choose my words, my reactions, my priorities, how to spend my energies. Only these twenty-four hours to face at a time, and a new start in the morning, with His promised presence to help and to guide. This I can do.

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“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’ ” (Matthew 11:29-30)

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“I will stay, should the world by me fold,
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls;
I will wait, and hold fast to Your word,
Heart on Your heart, and my eyes on You.
God of wonder and God of grace,
Let my soul stand always to praise You,
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way,
And I’ll never look back.”
(Hillsong United)

It’s Hard to Be A Clay Pot

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The sovereignty of God is a somewhat terrifying reality. Just ask Job. We are granted a glimpse into the throne room of Heaven to get the back story; we get to eavesdrop on God interviewing the reporting angels, specifically the renegade Lucifer, once known as the Morning Star and now called simply Adversary. But Job had no context for the sudden disaster that became his waking nightmare, other than what he had been taught about the Creator God by his father and grandfather. We can hear Lucifer’s challenge to God’s right to rule (just one more repetition of his millennia-old slogan in his bid for personal glory). We watch amazed, as God chooses Job to be His personal champion– Exhibit A in this round of the cosmic face-off– God’s demonstrated worth resting on the reactions of one man. But Job had no idea of the cause he was fighting for, this man who lived earnestly before God in the everyday, somewhere in the Arabian Peninsula, only a few generations removed from Abraham. Sounds rather grand on paper, like a super-hero story from ancient times. Except that Job was no super-hero, and the only power he had was faith in a God who held all things in His hands, when the world came crashing down. “For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me.” (Job 3:25) You don’t generally get an advance memo, when those kinds of things happen.

As a child I used to read that story for the exciting throne-room part and the happy ending where God rewards His champion for staying strong, and kind of skim through all the heart-searching in the middle. But as an adult, at some point you can’t help but read Job’s story from his perspective, because you know what it is like to face the unexpected, to see your biggest fears come to pass and know just how helpless you are to fix it. And you might even find yourself a kindred spirit to this man who wanted to do the right thing even when he was hurting, who hangs onto his faith even while he wrestles with the really big questions of “Where is God when it hurts?” and “If God is all-powerful, then why did He allow this to happen?” Under the prodding of his not-so-compassionate friends, Job even gets down to some of the deeper questions that we would rather not put into words at all, the kinds of thoughts that surface at night when everything else goes silent and fears are magnified: “What if everything I know about God isn’t even true?”…”Does He hear me when I cry out to Him? Does He care about me?” And the fact is that we don’t often get to know the reasons why things happen, and God doesn’t have to explain it to us at all. Maybe that’s why He bothered to record the back-story on Job for us, to to remind us that the picture is so much bigger than what we can see from here.

There’s a reason God uses the potter’s wheel as a metaphor for how He shapes lives. The prophets say it best: “…you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)  We are His idea, His creation, and our lives are being shaped to show His glory. Pottery-making is a personal undertaking– between the Potter, his wheel, and the malleable clay. It is messy, hands-on, time-consuming molding and steps of process layered on, with waiting in between. And pottery-making is the business of the Potter. All the clay has to do is bend and stretch and yield to His hands. And God promises not to stop; He will keep working until time runs out. Paul writes it down for us, in one of his letters: “…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) It’s a lot of work for something that will get banged up anyway, in everyday use. But that’s okay, because it isn’t really about the pots.  In the end it is all about the Creator and His worth, His right to rule, and His glory on display through His work.

And this is where it gets scary for things made of clay: fragile, ordinary, dispensible in the grand scheme of things, and yet living and self-aware. And sometimes we might wish He were not so persistent in His work, because it is the strong hands of the Potter that press till you think you might break, can’t breathe under the strain; His plan that heats the oven and chooses the glaze; His will that decides the use of the pots. “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker, those who are nothing but potsherds among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ ” (Isaiah 45:9) I struggled with that when I was younger, not wanting to hear what God was saying through the prophet: “You aren’t in charge….You don’t get to decide what experiences will press, or where your path will lead you….Your life belongs to the Potter.” This is the meaning of the word sovereignty: God does whatever He wants, however He wants, whenever He wants, and to whomever He wants, for His own glory and His own purposes. It would be utterly terrifying, but for the nail holes on the Potter’s hands proclaiming His love for us, and the grace that still flows down every day to cover us, help us.

No wonder Jesus knew we would need a Comforter: “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever…” (John 14:16) The Apostle Paul knew that comfort first-hand: “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5) It is the Holy Spirit who reminds us of God’s love, when the way gets dark. He is the divine Helper who brings our thoughts back to rest on Truth when they run wild in the night, who opens our eyes to see God’s unfailing righteous character on which His sovereignty rests. He shows us what clay pots are best used for: to hold the living glory of God and let it shine out all of the cracks, to fulfill His plans for us in the average ordinary everydays, relying on His strength so that anyone watching will see His tremendous beauty and rejoice. We may never get the back-story, or learn where all this is heading, but that is because we are just the clay, and there is a Potter who takes care of all that. Scary to trust His right to rule? Sure it is, until we get to know Him better.

Job didn’t even have the blazing milestone of the cross on which to hang his faith, but still he wrestled to understand and believe, right down to the last dregs of hope and reason. And in the end, Job bowed down and worshiped, though He still had no explanation for what had happened to him….“I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:5-6) Turns out that all he really needed was to see the Creator more clearly, and bow to His sovereignty; considering Job’s example as a real-life clay pot, I think he was a super-hero after all.

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“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose…’ ”  (Isaiah 46:9-10)

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 “All along, let us remember we are not asked to understand, but simply to obey…”
Amy Carmichael, Candles in the Dark

Theology for Everyday Life

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We are talking this week in small group about us women as theologians. Or perhaps more precisely, how theology is necessary to our everyday lives as women. And how we cheat ourselves if we write it off as abstract or irrelevant; how we strip away the very context of life, the framework that equips us to understand ourselves and others, enables us to make sense of our experiences on this earth.

Because theology isn’t about scholars in classrooms reading Greek, nor about preachers in pulpits, or very thick books full of long words. Theology is about a Person: theos meaning God, and logia meaning sayings or reasonings in the Greek…which is related to logos, meaning the word. As in “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14) Pure and simple, theology is knowing God through His written Word and the Word made flesh, and when you put it that way there is absolutely nothing more important to women.

For a woman to look in the mirror and accept herself as valuable, hand-made, one-of-a-kind, she needs to learn about the Creator who formed her and loves her with an everlasting love, be able to rejoice in Him. The Musician King sang it, millennia ago: “Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.” (Psalm 100:3-5) This is Truth that continues to speak into our everyday as women in the twenty-first century.

When a woman is trying to find meaning in her existence beyond the routine work week and mundane chores of running a household– growing weary of changing diapers and cleaning noses and floors and countertops, paying bills, and feeding an endless parade of hungry mouths– she needs to understand that the King has an over-arching purpose for her life, valuable roles to fill in her families and community. And maybe it is in those very acts of everyday service, and the way she shines His light into the lives of others, that she is building for the Kingdom of Heaven. The Church Planter reminds us, “…whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:17) Because we belong to Him, when we serve in His name it is all for His glory and He promises to use it for good.

A woman reaching for something better than where she has been needs to explore the concepts of grace and forgiveness, understand that there is a Savior who makes us new. It is no use trying to find a new start in life without getting to know the God who gives second chances, and I hear Paul again, saying “…if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) The past can be left at the foot of the cross, covered in the Grace that poured down from divine hands and feet, and the weary traveler can press on, covered in the righteousness of Christ. This is what we need to know, as women, if we are going to accept forgiveness and move past our sins and mistakes.

As women who care deeply about others we have no way to process the deep sorrows of difficult marriages, and handicapped children, and cancer, and abuse, and suicide, and loss… without the context of what the Word says about sin and disobedience and free will. And where else can we find hope besides knowing the promises of God and trusting His faithfulness? It’s ridiculous to say theology doesn’t matter for women, as if faith is useless to the feminine gender– or worse, as if we aren’t capable of a relationship with God.

What we believe about God makes all the difference in how we respond to Him, how we interpret the things we feel-see-hear-touch. How well we know Him determines how much we can trust Him. And there’s this kids’ song playing in my car:

“You were there through the darkest times,
In every victory and every trial,
And we would hold on to Your promise.
You gave us life when we had no hope;
You gave us signs so that we would know
That we could hold on to your promise.

You said,’I AM
The rock that you stand on.
I AM your light and salvation.
I will never ever let you go.
I AM the God who redeemed you.
I AM the one who never leaves you,
Lord of all, Beginning and the End.
I AM.'”
(Jay Stocker)

Knowing who God is gives us a context for understanding life. That’s what theology really is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

“I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” (Philippians 3:8-9)

 

 

 

 

 

“Spiritual disciplines are not about getting God to love you — but about getting your heart in a place so you can hear Him say it.” (Ann VosKamp)

 

 

Happiness Makes the Heart Grow Stronger

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It catches my eye every time I walk through the kitchen– that poster on my fridge, with the flowers in the border reminding me that we need a new ink cartridge in the printer– and I keep reading it over and over, trying to wrap my brain around words I know are true, but sound as off-kilter as the oddly colored flowers around them. “Everyone gets to decide how happy they want to be…”

Everyone gets to decide? Even the ones that get stuck in situations beyond their control? That’s the hard ceiling on free will, finding out that in so many ways you are not free at all, and have no choice in the matter. And who gets to decide a quantity of happiness, as if it were an opportunity or a favor granted? Isn’t everyone allotted a certain measure of happiness in this life, and some people are just more blessed than others? There is an inequity of circumstances that we all have learned to put up with, ever since we were toddlers and discovered the painful truth that we can’t always have what someone else has. And right about that same time we laid the responsibility of our happiness on the shoulders of circumstance, let it roll on the unpredictable winds of fortune. I see how we often live on that thin knife-edge– balanced between hope that things will go our way, and fear that everything will crash down around our ears; can see how we lean toward worry or toward control, trying to manage it all. And some of us just give it all up and do whatever we can to pretend the tug-of-war doesn’t even exist. The world we live in makes no sense of the first part of that sentence.

But the truth of the second part skewers through the uncertainty of that first bit, anchoring it firmly. “Everyone gets to decide how happy they want to be… because everyone gets to decide how grateful they are willing to be.” (Ann VosKamp) And I know this spiritual sister is speaking truth, even though my heart doesn’t completely get it yet. Because gratitude is precisely what we are free to choose– or not– in response to the circumstances we are given, and the way we respond shows what is in our hearts toward the Giver.

In his letters to the early churches, Paul writes it over and over again, rings out the insistent call: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4) He hands out this command boldly, as the standard for believers, regardless of their circumstances. And given the circumstances of his own life, we can surmise that he was no rosy idealist about life; he had no illusions about how hard it could be to hold onto hope or contentment or joy. His answer to the hurting, to the lonely, to the failing and the fallen is the same: Rejoice in the One who loves you and will never leave you.

This happiness is something stronger and braver than we give it credit for: no whim of emotion but the obedience of an unswerving heart. The answer to all the hurts of this world is the Savior who came for us, and because of Him we can always rejoice, can always give thanks for Grace. But it’s a choice and we have to be willing to submit to what He has given this day, open our hands for what He supplies and be content there. Paul’s words stand firm: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

So maybe happiness is really up to me and I do get to decide, because while the circumstances are not in my control, my response to them is, and gratitude is always a valid option. Choose to see Grace, be willing to acknowledge the Giver’s goodness and provision in the midst of circumstances, and find happiness in His presence? I get to decide.

 

 

 

 

 

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

 

 

 

 

“Life is a battle — and Joy is a kind of courage and a smile slays all kind of dragons.” (Ann VosKamp)

Of Faith and Fleece

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In this world of so many things gone wrong that we cannot fix, uncertain outcomes, unpredictable circumstances, sometimes all you want is assurances to hang onto. Super-powers would be nice, but I would settle for a burning bush, or fiery chariots, or a shepherd’s rod that can turn into a snake. In our small group we sometimes joke about how neon signs would be helpful when we go looking for direction and assurance, but the joking is just a cover-up for a little bit of frustration and a very real fear that we might get left on our own.  

I think how I might cheerfully throw myself at new under-takings, could bravely face the unknown, if I only had a fleece like Gideon did, letting me know for sure that God’s power was overshadowing me and everything would turn out well. But then I realize how crazy that sounds, because I have seen a fleece in real life: a shaggy, raggedy thing of indeterminate color, and smelling to high heaven when wet. Gideon’s confidence-booster was not very impressive when you take a good look at it– no more significant than any of the things I might hang onto as divine signposts, and isn’t it funny how seriously we wish for them to help us out? Especially when Jesus says to Gideon and to us, “I will be with you….I will stay…” (Judges 6:16,18) Shouldn’t the promise of the Almighty be sufficient?

When I really think about it, what made the fleece significant was the concrete evidence of God living and active, reaching down into the gritty everyday details of a farmer’s life. Because that is what Gideon needed to know most of all– that he was not alone and that there was a God who could work in the many situations Gideon could not control….things like where the dew fell… and who lived and died…and the future of his family. Isn’t that what we all need to know, when it comes right down to it? No wonder we are so keen about that smelly bit of wool.

God was very patient with Gideon’s need to see with his own eyes, touch the wet wool with his own fingers, smell the evidence of divine power with his own nose. But then, Gideon was just meeting the Almighty for the first time, had nothing but old stories handed down through generations to inform his faith. And I hold the God-breathed record in my hands, the revelation of who God Is, the inked words of the Word coming in flesh, and I feel ashamed. Why do I sometimes think it would be easier to understand a piece of wool or wood or weather for answers (just because I can touch them and see them) rather than God Himself? If I cannot put my trust in God’s assurances, cannot trust the Spirit who has made His habitation with me, isn’t looking elsewhere just a fancy word for idolatry? And why would I expect God to indulge my desire for control, even if it is only an illusion after all? Granted, there is a learning curve in following the Spirit’s leading, and God is still very patient (and we do have to be ever wary of our tendency toward deception), but sometimes I just need to step out and act on what He has already said, and trust Him for the outcome.

Interestingly, when Gideon saw God face to face, he named Him Jehovah-shalom…The Lord is Peace. There was an old superstition that to see the face of God meant certain death, so when Gideon realized that it was the Lord Himself who had come to visit him, he was sure it was all over. The Lord is Peace came from his relief that God intended good, not ill, for him. That is what stood out to Gideon about the whole encounter. But after the fact, when he was neck-deep in the logistics of leading an army of beaten-down farmers against a superior foe, when the memory of Voice and Fire had blurred at the edges, he needed to know for sure that the calling was true, and the power was real, and the Presence remained. So he pulled out that raggedy fleece and laid it out under the stars, begging God to do all the things he could not, in this very real, very uncertain world; I’m not sure which is more remarkable, that the farmer trusted enough to ask for yet another sign, or that God stooped to touch his dirty rags, or that the Lord’s promise to His people still rings out clear through the centuries: “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Because this is still what we need to know most of all, and God still bends to assure us of His presence: His presence is peace, and He is good, and He is with us. “…Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) No temporary fleece, but a blazing Presence in our hearts, the Living One who is able to control all the things we care about most and are unable to change. “For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.'” (2 Corinthians 6:16)  What more do we need?

 

 

 

 

 

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” (James 1:5-8)

 

 

 

 

“We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear;
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near;
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love,
As if every promise from Your word is not enough.
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea,
And long that we’d have faith to believe.”
(Blessings,Laura Story)

 

Real Life

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Someone lost her job this week. And someone lost her child. Someone is packing up her child to leave home. And someone is counting the days till they can be together again. Someone rekindled a special friendship. Someone didn’t get the call she was waiting for. Someone is longing for a little one to come home for good. Someone made a commitment to healthy good habits. And we share and we listen everywhere we go, as women of grace, and I see how we are all intertwined– strengths and weaknesses and hopes and disappointments reaching out and holding each other up as we walk through this life. And the Apostle Paul says we are parts of one body, our differences making each other strong as we work together.

It is the count-down week toward Easter Morning, and we remember each day what Christ did in the last week of His life…such an eventful week leading up to the day that would change the world. But the disciples don’t bother to record the little Real Life events of that week: breakfast shared at dawn under spreading fragrant trees, how the birds sounded and the way the wind blew, walking together on dusty roads and how this one joked and that one was quieter than usual, the way dusk fell and the noises of the city faded into night-time, and how the oil lamp flickered soft shadows on the walls. It’s easy to forget that Jesus and His friends were real men, people who shared the little moments and the ups and downs of real life. Like us. And God calls us The Body of Christ and somehow as we live out our lives together He is present with us– He that was broken for us in that week, is making us whole, using us to help each other get through this world in one piece.

Because the Kingdom of God is all about restoration, putting the pieces back together till everything has been made new and God can look at what He has made and pronounce it good, as it was in the Beginning. “‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4) And the restoration process begins at the cross, with the very real death of flesh and bone, the sacrifice of a perfect Lamb  to purchase righteousness for everyone– re-creation spilling out from this one improbable place, the old things passing away and being made new in His blood and resurrection power. “…This is My body, which is broken for you.” (1 Corinthians 11:24)

This is the Body of Christ, us in our good days and bad days living out our faith honestly before each other, in flesh and bone and blood, and it is raw and gritty and often difficult. He knows because He lived it too. In this Easter week as we walk toward the cross, we remember and give thanks, offer ourselves to one another…all these broken pieces being made whole in Him.

 

 

 

“… we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

 

 

 

 

“The way you find the threads to suture up the fractures of your heart — is to let your frayed places be tied to someone else’s frayed places….Your story matters — because God is using it to mend the world, to change the world.” (Ann VosKamp)

The Stories We Tell

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We are all story-tellers at heart, and the stories you keep well-dusted and within arm’s reach are the most important ones. Because the memories you recite to yourself most often are the ones that take up residence in your Thought Closet and color the walls. And the way you interpret those stories– the meaning you assign to them– shapes the way you see yourself and others, your understanding of God, your ability to trust and hope and face the world. In the book of Deuteronomy God tells His people over and over to remember, to tell the stories of His deliverance and love to one another, to their children, day by day, so that they do not forget Him. Remember even the hard times, and see God’s protection and faithfulness in the midst of them. So that their lives will be colored by His presence and the significance of His plans for them. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” (Jeremiah 29:11) Remember this.

Paul underscores the why of remembering in his letter to the Roman believers: when you forget what God has done you begin to lose sight of Who He Is, and that is a downward slide into darkness. Forgetfulness is what the Enemy has been cultivating ever since he first started planting seeds in the Garden, whispering to the First Woman that maybe she didn’t know God as well as she thought she did. So God tells us to remember…remember what He has done… remember Who He Is… and tell it over and over to each other so we don’t forget.

When I remember God’s power to help and deliver, His beauty and holiness, then my heart bows down and worships the way it was made to do, and I discover who I am and who I want to be. When I take the time to acknowledge His many kindnesses undeserved, thankfulness wells up naturally, the created responding to the Creator. When I recognize His faithful love to me that gave up His own Son, how can I help but love Him in return and praise Him for Who He Is? The Wise King told his sons that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10) Remembering the right things is the way to grow wise, the way to make good choices in life, the way to paint your Thought Closet in shades of Light.

And we do get to choose what memories we tell ourselves, and how we interpret those stories. One of King David’s worship leaders sang about his choice to remember God in the middle of his distress, feeling alone and hopeless, ready to give up…but he remembered what stories to tell himself at night…he chose what to recite to his soul. “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will consider all Your works and meditate on all Your mighty deeds.” (Psalm 77:11-12) And as this singer focused on God and on what God had done, the atmosphere of his Thought Closet changed to praise and joy and hope. “Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God?” (verse 13)

What the worship leader says poetically, Paul reiterates as warning for the early church, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21) It is dangerous for us to forget, to tell ourselves stories that aren’t true or that focus only on our needs, our pain, our fears. Open your eyes to see God at work in your life, and be thankful; tell those stories often, to yourself and others, so that you will remember. Especially when you grow weary of walking, and feel the sorrow of living in this world, and when you can’t see your way clearly. Especially then, choose to tell the stories of God’s presence and power, so that you can remember that He is God and He is good, and you are His.

 

 

“When I feel the cold of winter,
And this cloak of sadness, I need You;
All the evil things that shake me,
All the words that break me, I need You.

Over the mountains,
Over the sea–
Here You come running, my Lover to me.

Do not hide me from Your presence,
Pull me from Your shadows– I need You.
Beauty, wrap Your arms around me,
Sing Your song of kindness– I need You.”
(Song of Solomon, Jesus Culture)

 

 

 

“Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him….For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love.” (Psalm 33:1, 4-5)

A Wake-up Call

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Last week we talked about what we treasure most, and how the distractions and demands of daily life conspire to make us forget, run rough-shod over our days till the things that matter most get shoved to the back shelves of our closet. And it is no small thing, to let our deepest treasures (the things at the very heart of us) collect dust. We could fill an entire life with accumulated baggage and clutter, just trying to keep up with the whirl, eyes on the here and now, and lose the unique and beautiful person-God-made-us-to-be in the process…forget where we are headed and why we are here.

It is a conspiracy really, big enough to excite the most paranoid of theorists– the complex web of deception laid down by an Enemy who prowls around us night and day; who seizes every opportunity, every moment of weakness to steal away the potential God created in us; who sings us to sleep with what we can see and taste and touch… until we can’t see anything clearly any more. We might even get to feeling that it hardly matters if we live half-asleep; after all, aren’t we fairly inconsequential individuals in the grand scheme of things? It takes a bright ray of clarity to cut through the clutter and confusion and wake us up to Truth again.

Until we wake up– open the eyes of our souls to God’s way of doing things and His plans for us– we will not be able to keep our Thought Closets cleaned out, put the most important things we treasure on the front shelves and guard them the way we need to. As long as we live half asleep, comfortable under the blanket of deception, we will miss out on Real Life. The Singer rejoices with eyes wide open, saying “Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us.” (Psalm 40:5)  And “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.” (Psalm 139:17-18)

Praise is an undeception–a moment of waking– that opens our eyes to who God is, and reminds us that all is gift; all flows down from the Father of Lights as grace. And when we wake up and focus on God, we can see the Enemy’s lies for what they are– just part of an elaborate plot against the Divine Ruler, with us as pawns to use and destroy. When I choose to acknowledge God’s awesome power and His utter faithfulness and kindness, I do what Satan refused to do: I acknowledge my place in the universe as a being created to worship; I remember that I am made for the pleasure and glory of the Creator; I recognize that it is right and good to serve His purposes and not my own. When the eyes of my soul are open and attentive to my Father in Heaven, I become more Myself than I have ever been– the person God had in mind when He hand-knit me together. Thankfulness is, at its heart, remembering who you are and who God Is, and finding your right and meaningful place in the grand scheme of things again….it is a restoration of the way things were in the Garden at the very Beginning, working out salvation in one small corner of the world.

Wake me up out of lethargy and tune my heart to sing Your praise. “…for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, ‘Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.’ So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” (Ephesians 5:14-15)

 

 

 

 

“All the wickedness in the world begins with the act of forgetting — forgetting that God is enough, that what He gives is good enough, that there is always more than enough to give thanks for.”  (Ann VosKamp)

 

 

“You are my one desire,
 You are the holy fire
 That burns in me;
 The lover of my soul,
 God, You don’t let go,
 You make Your home in me.

You are my everything–
 All I need is in You;
 And all I have,
 All I am is in You.”
 (My Everything, Jesus Culture)

Wandering Doesn’t Make You Lost

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We aren’t really comfortable with the idea that God sent His people out into the wilderness and let them be hungry and lost and tired on purpose. Maybe it was just the divine oversight of an Almighty Being who was busy spinning the planets in their orbits and hadn’t time for a few hundred thousand men, women, and children trying to make their way through the desert. But that isn’t any better at all, and if we cling to the belief that He is a personal and present God, then we are stuck with the inescapable facts recorded in Deuteronomy by Moses so that they would all remember: “God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you…and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know…that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone.” (Deuteronomy 8:3-4) Though the lack of faith and the complaining were their own, the consequences were of His choosing and for His purposes.

And although we like to comfort ourselves with the platitude that God only gives us what we can handle, the experience of the desert wanderers is a sharp contradiction, a wake-up call to the self-satisfied– who can handle wandering lost with no home, looking for food and water in the endless wilderness for four decades, watching an entire generation of loved ones die, one by one? It is tragedy unmeasurable, and the only answer is that His purposes for us are so much bigger than we can see, so much more than we want for ourselves. We want to be happy; He wants us to be holy. We want our lives to be good; He wants us to live forever. “…Know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son.” (8:5) 

But if all we see is the barren loss, we are missing the most important part of the story, the miracle that met them new every day.

Moses makes God’s intentions plain toward His Chosen People, that He wanted to break their stubborn self-reliance, their ideas of what life should be like and what they should have, till all they had was Him. And He Himself fed them with grain from Heaven, and made water spring from rocks, and kept their clothes from wearing out through all those long years, the shoes on their wandering feet whole, watched over them every moment, to show them that He was utterly dependable and faithful. He was Deliverer, Provider, Lover, and King– the I AM who was everything they needed. There in the desert, with the distractions and pleasantries of life stripped away, the choices became simple: Trust or not….Obey or not….Follow or not. Till they weren’t looking at the food or their feet any more at all, but only at Him. Till they could sing with all their hearts, “I am continually with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward You will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:23-26)

In the end I wonder if we would ever trade the visible, personal power of God in the desert places for forty years of an unremarkable life of routine and safe pursuits. It’s only a matter of time anyway, because all of this life must be shaken and torn clean away, till we can see it for the temporary Shadowland that it is, if we are going to step into the everlasting Reality of God’s presence.

We aren’t entirely comfortable thinking about a God who leads people into the barren places, who takes away what we know and cling to (even if it be a kind of slavery), who allows grief and pain in our lives to humble us and teach us. But He Is Who He Is and there is a clarity and simplicity in the desert that those who wander can learn to value. And His purposes are always good. The prophets remind us of God’s true-love promises… “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” (Jeremiah 29:11)…. “‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,’  says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:10)

May all our wanderings lead us straight to God.

 

 

 

 

“This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe.” (Hebrews 12:27-28)

 

 

 

“What if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life, 
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
What if trials of this life– the rain, the storms, the hardest nights–
Are Your mercies in disguise?”
(Blessings, Laura Story)

 

Deuteronomy 8:2-3