So I am really trying to live in the Truth that God is enough, this week. When the needs are real and the resources fall short, no matter how I try to rearrange them, I am praying for God’s supply and trusting that it will come. Honestly I am, and I have been telling people that He will provide, so as to be held accountable for my faith…even though part of me whispers that it would be safer not to make that public, just in case. It’s sad how unbelief clings to the soul like the cobweb remains of the grave. But I keep brushing it free and try standing in the light of what I know.

And as the week wears on, I am starting to feel like Elijah hiding out in the middle of nowhere by the brook Kerith, watching it dry up bit by bit and wondering if the scavenger birds will bring him anything today, and when this experiment will end.* What can you expect of wild birds, after all? And how much is too much to expect from God’s hand, when you don’t even know what is His end-game? If it were up to me, I would fill this need right now and move on with the plan, so clearly our goals are not the same here. (Times like this remind you just how far outside of Creation He is…something Other.) I’m trying to trust that His goals are the important ones.

So despite tossing at night and a growing weight of dread, I am holding on with both hands  to Who He Is and what He has promised, even while my brain sorts through ideas and options and keeps coming up blank. Like the ravens’ gifts, His provision will be just what is needed for this day, at the correct time. I keep reminding myself and others that He has met our needs countless times before, and often at the last minute. What I need is eyes to recognize it when it comes, and the patience to wait. I’m getting better. Maybe someday I can even do it very peacefully.

*Read Elijah’s story in 1 Kings 17.

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“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

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“‘Who so hearkeneth unto me,’ He says, ‘shall dwell safely; and shall be quiet from fear of evil.’ And this is a statement that no one dare question. If we would really hearken unto God, which means not only hearing Him, but believing what we hear, we could not fail to know that, just because He is God, He cannot do other than care for us as He cares for the apple of His eye; and that all that tender love and divine wisdom can do for our welfare, must be and will be unfailingly done. Not a single loophole for worry or fear is left to the soul that knows God.” (The God of All Comfort, Hannah Whitall Smith)