Author Archives: Laurel

The Biggest Question of All

Posted on by

It’s the question we all are all asking inside, when we are standing by a grave. Whether it is the resting place of a dream we were holding onto, or saying goodbye to a season of life, or the wrenching physical loss of someone we love. We are all wondering “Where is God?” Our minds can inform us of the fact of His presence, but what we really want to know is if He cares how we feel. Is He near when I need Him? Will He help me? And even when Faith steps up to proclaim the promise, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” (Romans 8:28), we can’t help but wonder how soon that good is going to surface.

God knows us to the core, and so He plays out a story for us– lets us see the two sisters Mary and Martha ask the same questions, as they watch their brother die and wrap him for burial, and Jesus still does not come to rescue them. They grieve and wonder about the One who said He loved them. But some productive wrestling can happen in the dark, when it is just your heart and those big questions, and by the time Jesus finally shows up the sisters are holding onto faith with all their might. Martha can say “…if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” (John 11:21) We can hear her faint wild glimmer of hope that death may not be the end of the story, regardless of everything she understands. And Mary comes running when Jesus calls for her, not ashamed to bare her heart to Him because she trusts His love. We watch Mary and Martha and find the answers to our own questions in living color.

Where is God when we stand at a graveside? Does He really care how we feel? He listens to our hearts, enters into our story. He comes when we call, and stands beside us, weeping with our broken hearts.

Is He near when I need Him? Will He help me? He calls out and does the impossible right before our eyes. Relationships beyond hope get second chances. New opportunities rise out of dreams laid to rest. Comfort and peace lift up the aching heart. And Martha and Mary’s brother walks out of his tomb in front of the assembled mourners– a story none of them will likely forget. Jesus does not do what they want Him to do, or even what they could reasonably expect Him to do, and it is easy for us to get bogged down there in our own frustration and confusion. This is where our perspectives and emotions wrestle with faith, and we get to decide whether we will trust in what we can understand… or believe what God says. I am glad the sisters’ story tells us the “Why?” of it– God’s larger purpose at work in their story. “…it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” (verse 4) But I see how their relationship with Jesus is what makes them trust that He knows best. They know Him and His love for them, even when they don’t understand what He does.

Jesus tells Martha “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in Me will never die.” (verses 25-26)  It is the answer to her questions– the message of her story that speaks to all of us if we will be still and listen. There could be no better answer to the graveside questions than this: Death is no longer the end we have always feared, because God has come to rescue us.

Here at the beginning of our preparation for Easter, we can understand how Jesus “was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” (verse 33). This is the crux of the matter, the very reason He has taken flesh and stepped down into our story. Jesus is facing our Curse, seeing it in all its strength and oppression; He is seeing it affect the people He loves and weeping for their sorrow; He is standing up in anger and doing something about it, because we can’t. This is only a skirmish, a foretaste, but the climax of the story is coming when Jesus will walk out of His own tomb and overcome Sin and Death once and for all. This is the larger purpose He is working out in the world, that stretches over all our smaller stories.

The question He asks of Martha (and any of us who stand by a grave) is ” Do you believe this?” (verse 26)

~~~~~~~

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him….The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
(Psalm 34:8,17-18)

~~~~~~~

“Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my life, my future, in His hands

Amen, Amen
I’m alive, I’m alive
Because He lives
Amen, Amen
Let my song join the one that never ends”
(Because He Lives– Amen, Matt Maher)

The Best Choices in Life

Posted on by

Most of the women I know feel overwhelmed by all the choices in the modern world– too many options, too many expectations on them, too many voices telling them what they need in order to be successful (or beautiful, or healthy, or good). It’s ironic how paralyzed, even trapped, we can feel under the weight of so much freedom.

And oddly enough, it is the example of a couple women from thousands of years ago that shows us the way out. We first meet Mary and her sister Martha when Jesus comes to town, and like any good Middle Eastern family, their home is open to the rabbi and his disciples. But it’s the choices they make that interest us. One does what she is expected to do, what she was taught to do, to serve the guests. She is a good girl. One quietly steps out of the box at the prompting of her heart, and I wonder if she could even put a name to whatever drew her to sit at Rabbi Jesus’ feet, that day? (Is this a sudden daring for her?… Or has she been quietly pushing against custom for years, much to her sister’s dismay?)

Martha’s gift of hospitality was welcomed by tired hungry travelers, and would not even have come under question except for her own questioning. She compares herself, like we do, and finds herself both more and less than her sister (like we do). Martha is bold in her own way, to ask the Rabbi to judge between them, though she feels sure the respected Teacher will land on the side of convention.

Instead, Jesus looked at the two women as unique individuals, saw right into their hearts and pointed out how their choices were shaping them. In a move that surprised all of them, Jesus seized the teachable moment and clearly invited women to become students at His feet along with the men, welcomed them as equals and said that the dishes can wait. So can dinner, for that matter, because the housework will need to be done again tomorrow, but Jesus is here right now. And even the customs and expectations of the world around you can’t compare to the value of knowing God personally. Jesus’ answer to Martha is that women are indeed free to choose how they will spend their lives, and should be careful to choose well.

So we talk about choosing well in our own lives, and whether those choices leave us “worried and upset about many things”  or whether they invest in Forever and “will not be taken away.” (Luke 10:41-42) And it’s not a matter of whether we prefer working with our hands or sitting still, or even a matter of whether it is better to serve or to learn. What divides through all the many options we have is the question of what voices we are listening to– where we are getting our identity, what influences are shaping our lives– and whether we are learning from the Teacher Jesus and following after our Master. Any voices but His will leave us scrambled and harried inside, no matter what good things we are doing. He said to the two sisters, “There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it….” (Luke 10:42) And then to all of His followers,“Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29)

But it is just as difficult for us as it was for Mary and Martha to step outside of what our culture calls “normal.” We get pushed by the urgency of what needs to be done right now, feel we must keep pace with the rush. And it is so natural to react to the intensity of emotion in the moment. Checking tangible, measurable tasks off our To-do lists is very satisfying. It feels good to gain others’ approval and admiration… to fit in and measure up to the standard of what “everybody is doing,” despite what our mothers told us all those years ago. Resisting all these natural currents so that we can make better choices takes courage, and focus, and a certain amount of self-discipline.

Or maybe, like in Mary’s case, it’s just a matter of becoming hungry enough that you will do whatever it takes to really Live. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

~~~~~~~

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4)

~~~~~~~

“Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You… so I wait for You…
I’m falling on my knees offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for.”
(Hungry,Kathryn Scott)

Mirror, Mirror

Posted on by

When we begin to talk about purpose, the waters get murky rather quickly. Women start talking about children being grown and out of the house, or not having children at all; about being divorced, or whether their husband comes to church; about pleasing others, and serving the people they love; about finding a job they like better, or keeping track of everyone’s schedules at home, or the ministries they are involved in. It’s fairly clear that for us, our sense of identity and purpose springs from our relationships with others and the work that we do.

No wonder we feel pulled every which way by people’s expectations and emotions, and wear ourselves out trying to do everything we see on Pinterest and Facebook. In this comparison game, it looks like just about everyone out there is accomplishing more and living bigger and brighter than we are, doing more for their families and earning more approval because of it. Bring up the question of purpose in life, then, and right away women feel either frustrated and overwhelmed, or just downright confused.

But what if our purpose is much simpler than all of that– and much less subject to changes of circumstance? When we look back to the Beginning of everything we know, to find answers, we find God there already, exercising vast power and intellect and creative design to bring everything into existence. We even catch a glimpse of His personality in what He makes and how He goes about it… the order and complexity of His process…the harmony and cooperation between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit… and the variety and detail and beauty of the results. And with each stage of creation, God names it and tells its purpose– what He has in mind for it. It’s like a parent, attaching labels to the world for a toddler, so she can begin to understand what she is seeing and experiencing. At the climax of the story, God fashions the centerpiece for this world He has made: humanity. And once again, with the name, He speaks of purpose. “Let us make mankind in Our image, in Our likeness, so that they may rule over…all the creatures that move along the ground.” (Genesis 1:26)

The word used for image is the same one that will be used later to speak of idols. And just as the rock and clay carved by man’s hands was meant to reflect the image of some super-powerful being, so our clay was fashioned by God’s hands to reflect His own likeness. Our first purpose was to be a mirror that reflected God’s glorious Person. The eternal souls breathed into us, and what we call personality– our intellect, creativity, free will, full range of emotion, understanding of morality, humor, love, compassion, appreciation for beauty, verbal skills– all these are only shadow reflections of an infinite incomprehensible Personality. Every human that was ever born, in all our individual differences, reflect and express different aspects of one great Creator.

This is a purpose that doesn’t end, or change, regardless of our roles or duties in life. Sin dampens it, dims and mars it– but once we are made whole and straight in Jesus Christ, we are freed to become who we were created to be, to live as a unique mirror to His likeness. We can hardly blame the Church-Planter Paul for breaking into praise and worship so often in his letters to the early believers, as he told them about what God had done through Christ, and how great His purposes for us. He taught them that the fitting response was to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)

Figuring out how to reflect God’s image within our particular relationships and circumstances is what gets tricky, and will take a lifetime of learning from Him. So this is our faith-journey, to run the race we have been given– in this family, in this body, in this job, in this time and place, with these strengths and weaknesses, amid the consequences of our own choices and the choices of those around us. Here and now, to spend time with Him and learn Who He Is, so we can reflect His image well. This is our purpose and immense privilege on this earth.

And no one can take it away from us, not even our own failures, because He will use every last thing (good, bad, ugly, sad, or wonderful as it is) to accomplish His purpose in us.

~~~~~~~

“I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.  I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those He called—His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance.” (Ephesians 1:16-18)

~~~~~~~

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. . .It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.” (C.S. Lewis)

 

 

The Right Hat for a New Year

Posted on by

One woman can wear way too many hats sometimes. And in the week-in-week-out of life sometimes your goals can be reduced to learning how to juggle better…just finding balance…maybe squeezing out time for yourself amid the barrage of constant needs. Surely this is not what we were made for? Or could it be that this strangling urgency that drives us is a noose of our own making? And yet Jesus is whispering, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) It can leave a woman wondering about her purpose in life, and how to find space to pursue the most important things.  Maybe at some point, what we need is a complete makeover. Not just renovation, but a tearing down and refocusing on what is True. A calling to something stronger, quieter.

Deep down, I do know this– that I am more than wife/mother/daughter/sister, more than the things I can and cannot do. At the end of the day, I will still be what I was in the beginning: made by God’s hands and God’s heart, adopted into His family, and loved completely. So I take an old picture frame and make PEACE to hang on my wall, a visual reminder of what God is saying to me, these last couple months: “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) 

Often finding our true purpose isn’t something we can grow into gradually. We pursue the things we value most, and we are good at building strongholds to protect our own interests. Sometimes the chance to live new and strong only comes after peeling away layer after layer of myself, and my ideas, like a messy and painful intervention. But the pruning is all part of the process. As the author of the book of Hebrews pointed out about God’s perspective on the things of this world: not only are they temporary, but they need to be battered and broken down “so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.” (Hebrews 12:27) If I want the eternal that God is building for me, then I have to be willing to let go of the things I hold onto, no matter how it grieves.

Here at the beginning of the year, there is something fresh and new stirring– a Breath in the middle of us. And women sit around a dining room table late at night over cups of tea, choosing their one word for the coming year– strong beautiful words that peel the layers of hats right off, and get beneath everything we Do, to find who we Are before the Lover of our souls. And we talk about our purpose in life, and the voices that pull us in different directions, and we are all hungry for the same thing: to know God more deeply, and understand His ways, to be able to hear His voice above the clamor, to let go of our own trying-hard and rest in His care and provision. When we start living intentionally, “seeking first the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33), we are finally able to find our true purpose in life, to throw open the doors to God’s plans for us.

It’s a good way to start the year– not with goals and resolutions, but with heart-searching. Jeremiah the prophet wrote down the promises God spoke to His people: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) This we can count on. Because this is what He made us for.

~~~~~~~

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.” Psalm 57:2

~~~~~~~

“Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think You’re like,
But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night;
And You tell me that you’re pleased,
And that I’m never alone.
You’re a Good, Good Father–
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are.
And I’m loved by You–
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am.”
(Good Good Father, Anthony Brown and Pat Barrett)

Measuring Faith

Posted on by

Faith is an intangible tricky business– hard to measure and to muster. If faith is the currency of the spiritual realms, then we consumers want enough to live comfortably.  But there is no clear formula on how to make it all work, and sometimes it feels like a mysterious puzzle to solve. Apparently, faith the size of a mustard seed is sufficient, which is good news, but how do we go about using it to move mountains?

And the size of the seed isn’t even really the point of Jesus’ metaphor. When He told His followers that their unbelief was hindering them from casting out demons, the word means “want of confidence in Christ’s power.” All they needed was a sliver of reliance on Him, a tender shoot of hope, a reaching up in anticipation for what He might do. Because here’s the thing: when we reach out to Him with the little we have, in trust that He can do enough for the situation, amazing things tend to happen.  Thousands have a picnic on the grass from one little boy’s lunch. When a woman offers God’s prophet the very last of what she has, her little jar of oil has enough to make daily bread for two years. And Jesus said that “Nothing would be impossible” (Matthew 17:20) in our lives if we offer up our small faith for Him to use as He sees fit. It’s our humble dependence on His sufficiency, and the active willing obedience in the little seed that Jesus is pointing at.

Jesus talked about a mustard seed in another setting as well, and again, we would not want to stop at the observation of the seed’s size. He says, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.” (Mark 4:30-32) Jesus’ kingdom may have started in one believing heart, but it has grown to every corner of the earth and will continue to increase until His return, because “…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:10-11) When God’s overarching plans are at work, our small bit of faith is just one cog in the wheel– our vote of confidence that says count me in.

And that kind of faith is what works, though not at all the way we expected when we first started hunting for answers. It has little to do with getting the things we desire. More accurately, it is desiring God and His glory more than anything else– so that what we get is sufficient, if He is there. It’s trust in Who God is: that He is good, that He loves me, that He is enough for me. It’s trust that can hand over whatever we have, and know He will bless it and make good use of it to benefit others. It’s trust that steps out in obedience to whatever God is asking of me today. And no thing is too small and ordinary, or too big and difficult for this kind of faith, though all it be is the size of a mustard seed.

~~~~~~~

“Dear friends….Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

~~~~~~~

“For it is not true that a slight and feeble faith does suffice….Only a faith which is a living and a growing power, like the mustard seed in the soil, will triumph over the difficulties to be met and mastered….It will uproot great evil in God’s Name and strength….It will upraise noble structures of good, when inspired at the same source.” (W. Clarkson)

Faith and Flour Bins

Posted on by

Wrestling with faith these past couple weeks, looking at our slippery trend toward Self-reliance and feeling hard all the ways mistrust gets in the way of knowing God is Enough. When God starts pointing at the same truths different places in the Scriptures, and small groups begin to intersect, discussing the same issues in many different contexts, I can’t think it is pure coincidence. It is almost like a spiritual spotlight: pay attention, there is something to learn here.

Someone pointed out last week that when God meets the tangible need we feel most strongly, it is easy to land there, and maybe miss the deeper point He wants to make. Like in the narrative from ancient Zarephath, a village by the sea growing desperate for water, when daily bread seemed a big-enough miracle of life for a starving widow and her son. How could she predict that God wanted to raise that boy from the dead in her own home, to prove Himself Lord over Life and Death? When she accepted the prophet Elijah into her home for the sake of a bottomless flour bin, did she ever think that someday she would be saying, “Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is truth”? (1 Kings 17:24) I wonder how often my answered prayer is only the beginning; while I am ready to close the doors, check this lesson off the list and start celebrating, His Spirit is merely laying the groundwork of faith, preparing to shake the house down around my ears and stretch me in ways I never dreamed. It makes me think that the problem is not so much with my faith as it is with my image of God.

Maybe when I limit God to what I can understand or accept, I am also limiting the size of the faith I can have. A self-crippling act of short-sighted Self-sufficiency, defining God in terms of what I see and know. But if I have cut my view of God down to manageable human proportions, then what else is left but human-sized strength to face the complex unpredictablitiy of the world we live in? No wonder Self gets so wrung-out, trying to be enough to handle everything that concerns me. I see how the opposite works itself out, too– that the more I learn of His greatness and power, the sturdier my faith becomes. The more I practice putting the weight of everyday experience on the leg of what I believe, the larger my expectations grow. Elijah’s response to the widow’s unexpected tragedy was to carry the problem bodily before God and implore Him to intervene, never mind that no one had ever raised the dead before, or even thought of it, as far as we can tell. After shutting up the rain and being fed by scavenger birds and desperate widows for months, maybe redefining the impossible was becoming rather second-nature to the prophet who lived in the presence of the Lord.

(Interesting how the bigger and more accurate my view of God, the more my view of Self adjusts to more realistic proportions, as well. Dependency on the Creator is the only right and sensible response of the created, after all.)

It’s definitely not a straight line of progress in my own life, though…more like round and round in well-worn tracks through the underbrush, like a beagle hunting up a rabbit. But He promises, “You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) So I will keep practicing this dependent faith, and holding onto His promises, and let Him shake down the walls I have built, watch His light pour in more and more.

~~~~~~~

“You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” (Psalm 145:16-18)

~~~~~~~

“I have made You too small in my eyes–
Oh Lord, forgive me.
And I have believed in a lie
That You are unable to help me.
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong;
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong,
And in my eyes and with my song,
Oh Lord, be magnified.”
(Be Magnified, Fred Hammond)

Of Sheep and Spotlights and Familiar Songs

Posted on by

The familiar words of Psalm 23 continue to wind through my heart this week, but with a glimmer of something that I am just beginning to understand. It’s as if the comforting phrases are overlaid with the question “But do you really live that way?” I see that if I claim “The Lord is my Shepherd,” then it should probably change the way I face the circumstances of this day. I have a feeling that this Psalm will probably be more than a familiar recitation from now on. If I say “I lack nothing” and believe He is all-sufficient for me, maybe I should accept that what He gives me in the moment is enough, without worrying or complaining. Can I see in the ups and downs of my days that “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul”? Do I truly believe this, as God’s Word to me?– or am I just appreciating the picturesque poetry and approving of its content?

It’s fairly obvious that the best way to show my faith is to live it– to place the full weight of my hopes and actions on the Truth of God’s Word and Who He Is– otherwise it’s just hollow words. But so often there is this disconnect between what I believe and what I experience. I guess many of us are good at talking about what we believe, and many of us believe good things….but if we do not put enough stock in our beliefs to live them out, they are not really ours at all, are they? Un-tried beliefs are certainly not in a position to prove themselves to us (or to others) as trustworthy. It’s like Big Brother James says, “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:23-24) See a facial crisis and just walk away and forget about it?…Ha! Sheer craziness from a woman’s perspective. Yet here I am, able to recite Psalm 23 with barely a thought to what I am declaring about my relationship with the Good Shepherd.

The only way to prove what I really believe is to act on it, and where those laudable declarations and good principles enter the dust and noise of everyday life they take on shape, substance that can make a difference in this world– the Truth becoming flesh once again. But of course, this is where things get difficult, because it is unexpectedly painful to submit emotions to faith, to fix my eyes on Jesus’ plans instead of on circumstances, to bend my will and perspectives to His ways. It is not an accident that Paul’s words evoke the taming of wild horses when he says “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) Obedience is the hardest thing I will ever do in this world. (Paul says it is warfare that will be the death of Me, so why would it be easy?) The good news is that the smallest step forward is worth celebrating, and every step counts toward the final goal. And every time the Holy Spirit brings words of Scripture to light– spotlights it so you can’t miss it and burrows it into your heart so you can’t forget it– the really sensible thing to do is pay attention and obey, start putting it into practice, one small step at a time.

Looking at the Shepherd’s Psalm with an eye to obedience makes me see how much God values my complete and peaceful trust. The sheep does not fear or stress about anything in its world, large or small, because he rests in the Shepherd’s provision of all things. It reminds me of the words Amy Carmichael wrote: “…we trust all that the love of God does– all He gives and all He does not give, all He says and all He does not say. To it all we say, by His loving enabling, ‘I trust.’ Let us be content with our Lord’s will, and tell Him so, and not disappoint Him by wishing for anything He does not give. The more we understand His love, the more we trust.” Now this is a sheep who knows and trusts her Shepherd.

 Amy’s life is inspiring– she is one of those women whose faith shines just ahead in the Race and beckons other women to follow. As a single young woman, she left her home in Ireland to be trained by China Inland Mission for missions work; despite her frail health, which often left her weak and in pain for weeks on end, she eventually came to India where she spent the rest of her life showing God’s love in the most tangible forms to the helpless and cast-aside. Many of her later years were spent bed-ridden, but from her room she continued to write down what she was learning from the Good Shepherd, as a way to encourage the staff at her Dohnavur mission and orphanage, which cared for the children and women they rescued from temple prostitution and slavery. Hers were lessons learned in countless small ways, again and again, in the course of ordinary days and extraordinary difficulties, loneliness, and illness, till we can look back at her life and call it remarkable. At one point, she wrote, “Sometimes when we read the words of those who have been more than conquerors, we feel almost despondent. ‘I shall never be like that,’ we feel. But they won through, step by step– by little acts of will, little denials of self, little inward victories; by faithfulness in very little things, they became what they are. No one sees these little hidden steps; they only see the accomplishment; but even so, those small steps were taken. There is no sudden triumph, no spiritual maturity that is the work of a moment. So let us take courage….”

Take courage indeed, beloved sheep, and do not hesitate to act on what Jesus tells us, because we can trust in our Shepherd’s care. Step into the Spirit’s light, and prove it.

~~~~~~~

“My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus name.
Christ alone, Cornerstone–
Weak made strong in the Saviour’s love;
Through the storm, He is Lord…
Lord of all.”
(Cornerstone, Hillsong)

~~~~~~~

“He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:3-4)

Looking for Something to Wear

Posted on by

Women deciding what to wear seems to be both humorous and irritating to just about everyone, including ourselves. It’s just that our closets are so much more complex than a man’s– and maybe that’s a reflection of our multi-faceted life in this world. Or perhaps an indication of some unstable identity issues, but it definitely makes for a lengthy decision process on a daily basis. Maybe that’s why the Church-Planter’s metaphor for how to live resonates so well with us.

Paul may have been a man, but he understands how important the right clothes are to a situation, and how serious is that early-morning consideration into picking clothes for the day. Because what you wear shows people who you are on the inside. Clothing show how you feel about yourself, what you think about life, and the direction you are heading– just ask any girl over the age of twelve. But Paul pushes right past our vanity and pride concerning all those outside issues, and challenges us to look at our inside self the way God does: “Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12) Right there in the space of a sentence is an entire manual on what the well-dressed follower of Jesus should be wearing this season.

The word picture works because we do this every day: we peel off the dirty clothes and toss them in the laundry basket before we can get cleaned up and put on fresh clothes. We get laundry. We’ve done mountains of it every week; it’s one of those household chores that repeats endlessly, but no one questions its necessity. And Paul says it’s like that for us, exchanging the old life for a new one: “for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds.”  (Colossians 3:9) I need to throw away the angry words that spill out easily, and choose gentleness and mercy; I need to turn away from deceiving others with my own best interests in mind, and choose integrity instead, even when it costs me; I need to let go of this society’s standards of beauty and success and pursue the peaceful contented spirit that God delights in; I need to throw away self-sufficient independence, and choose childlike trust. Choose forgiveness. Choose surrender. Choose joy. These are repetitive, daily kinds of choices that are quite necessary, and should be part of normal life for any Christ-follower.

And it is as far away from a list of rules as you can get. It’s an appeal to common sense and to gratitude, a matter of showing on the outside what we believe on the inside, our love for the Savior shining out on our faces and in our behavior. So that when people look at us they can see the beautiful reality of our regeneration: “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” ( Colossians 3:3)

To some extent, this process of constant everyday renewal comes naturally from the beautiful presence of Christ living in us– His resurrection power at work in us and our spirits awakened to respond to Him. Paul assures his readers: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18) But in very real ways, how I am clothed to go out into my day is up to me, too. Paul’s written instructions to the early believers are given with every expectation that they will listen and obey. The responsibility is on me to choose, even while the power to accomplish it comes from the Holy Spirit. And the more I listen to Him and let Him lead me on the inside, the more my life changes on the outside. Paul says confidently to his readers “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him.” (Colossians 3:10)

~~~~~~~

“Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” (Philippians 2:12-15)

~~~~~~~

“I asked her what was so scary about unmerited free grace? She replied something like this: “If I was saved by my good works — then there would be a limit to what God could ask of me or put me through. I would be like a taxpayer with rights. I would have done my duty and now I would deserve a certain quality of life. But if it is really true that I am a sinner saved by sheer grace — at God’s infinite cost — then there’s nothing he cannot ask of me.”
(Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith)

Content to Be Broken

Posted on by

I got this photo, awhile back, of a Japanese bowl that has clearly been broken at some point in the past, and the pieces put back together. But instead of using crazy glue, like I would have done, in hopes that the cracks would be unnoticeable, this has been mended with gold and lacquer so that the shining veins encircle the bowl like a vine growing. I’m still trying to get my head around it.

The caption described the custom originating in the 15th century, and the legend accompanying it of the ruler (sometimes an emperor, sometimes a general) whose favorite bowl was dropped by a careless servant. But whatever mix of practicality and artistry inspired kintsukuroi, it is the philosophy behind the pottery that sticks with me. When household objects show the wear of age and use, and even when they crack right open, they are not discarded as useless. In the hands of the Japanese artists, mending makes them whole and beautiful, and stronger than before. I can appreciate that perspective, because most of my home is furnished in handed-down furniture and antiques. But when it comes to my own life, it definitely doesn’t seem it should be that way. Some days my life feels like it’s nothing but cracked refuse– shabby and worn and ordinary, and beyond usefulness. All I can see are the cracks, and if I could mend them quickly and never think about them again, I would be perfectly happy with that. Spotlight them in gold? Yeah, right.

But there is that old pottery piece in the picture, and the gold looks like a living river of light running through. I would not be the first to see the spiritual symbolism in kintsukuroi pottery. The parallel is clear between clay pottery and people, between gold and the power of the Cross, between human artists and the Creator. What takes my breath is the reasoning: that cracks and chips aren’t flaws…brokenness isn’t failure…aging and imperfections are not loss. Their marks are history and meaning and time spent. They are a visible proof of presence in this world, the result of fragile pottery impacting its environment in some small way. All these losses, the bangs and dents that I tend to mourn in life, seen as beautiful simply because they are life. “They are not something to conceal or be ashamed of because they remind us what it means to be human.” The simple caption almost makes me weep. To be human means to be flawed, and bound to break, and longing for wholeness in this very temporary life. And I know that the only reason the broken even could be beautiful is because the Creator picks up the pieces and mends it with His own hands. The cracks are an opportunity for something more than clay to enter in and change the way things are…all these flaws visibly filled in by His own shining glory.

It is exactly what Paul was talking about in his own life when he said “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10) If you look up content in the dictionary, it does not only mean to satisfy or fulfill. It also means to hold in, to contain, to limit oneself in desires. And I can see how Paul’s joy over his brokenness has more to do with what he wants than what he has. When you can say in complete honesty “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” (Philippians 3:8) then you will treasure anything that brings Christ near, even the hard things that batter and press. Narrow down your human desires and dreams to this one thing, and it is easier to be fulfilled: “…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death.” (Philippians 3:10) This is the proper use for a fragile piece of pottery: to show the marks of a real and ordinary life, and all its flaws to be made beautiful by the Great Artist. I can hear Jesus promising the crowds following Him: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

As one writer noted of the kintsukuroi bowl from legend: “One might almost say the true life of the bowl … began the moment it was dropped.” (Christy Bartlett, A Tearoom View of Mended Ceramics) And here I sit, the pieces of my life held up to You, with amazing grace flowing down all around.

~~~~~~~

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7)

~~~~~~~

“All these pieces,
Broken and scattered,
In mercy gathered,
Mended and whole.
Empty handed,
But not forsaken,
I’ve been set free,
I’ve been set free.

Amazing grace,
How sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost,
But now I’m found,
Was blind but now I see.

Oh I can see it now…
Oh I can see the love in Your eyes–
Laying Yourself down,
Raising up the broken to life…”
(Broken Vessels, Hillsong)

Faith, Hope, Love

Posted on by

We chose matching Mother-Daughter necklaces the Summer before she got married. It was my pre-wedding gift to her, as a token of our special relationship through the years: a silver heart with Faith, Hope, Love engraved on it. I liked it because it captured the faith-storms we had weathered together, and the closeness we shared because of it. She liked it because she said it expressed the essence of the gospel that could transcend any cultural boundaries. Faith in Christ Jesus for salvation; the Hope of the resurrection; Love lived out to others. It surprised me at the time, because I had never thought of those three qualities in such a way, but the idea slowly took root.

I always thought it curious how Paul plucks those particular qualities out of thin air and establishes them as eternal bedrock (although he, of all people, should be qualified to see them in the Spirit’s light): “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) There are many worthwhile qualities to cultivate, and while these three are admirable, why are they the best? But my daughter’s observation about the gospel stirred my curiosity; what if that were the reason Paul chose those three concepts? What if he were distilling the basic principles of their faith in Christ into an easily remembered creed for the young churches? His insistence to the Galatians that since Christ has come all their debating about the merits of circumcision mean nothing, leaps off the page: “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5:6) Faith in Jesus as the Way, the Truth, and the Life is the only way to salvation, and love is the proof and tangible manifestation of a person saved from sin and death. Hope for the future is implied as the motivation for their transformation. Everything else is just details.

I began to pay attention to how often Faith, Hope, and Love show up as related themes, especially in Paul’s writing, and the scrap paper I was using soon filled up. To Paul, this was clearly the essence of Christianity, and a well-recognized message in the early church. Scholars in the modern world often call these the theological virtues (as opposed to moral virtues which any man can cultivate and exercise) because they come only from God. Faith, hope, and love are purely a gift of God’s grace. To the early church they were the new guidelines for living as Christ-followers, in sharp contrast to the Law the Jews had followed for centuries.

From a practical perspective, Paul’s repeated theme reminds me of the values we often repeat in our own Church Family, the familiar phrases that call us back into focus, reinforce why we are here, help us do the hard things. We put our trust in a real and powerful God, and live out that faith with our choices in the everyday, even when it is hard and lonely. We build relationships as real people who refuse to wear masks, willing to lay up grace and kindness because God first loved us. We do this because of our hope– in the Christ who promised to come back for us, in the eternal Home that waits for us, in the resurrection of this faltering clay body. All of us wear Faith, Hope, Love around our necks and bind them to our hearts– it is what makes us who we are.

~~~~~~~

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.”
(Ephesians 4:2-6)

~~~~~~~

“You can do this thing — because you were made to do hard and holy things.
You are always enough — because You have Jesus and He is always enough.
You don’t have to get it perfect — you just have to get back up and keep going.”
(Ann VosKamo)